King's Landing: Ned's still in prison.

And Joffrey's on the throne. And he's delivering pronouncements in a kingly fashion, meaning that he has a minion reading them out for him. Joffrey's job is to sit up there and look regal. First up, Janos Slynt, commander of the City Watch, is raised to the rank of Lord, which will be passed down through his descendants until the end of time. Next, "in the place of the traitor, Eddard Stark," there's a new Hand of the King: Tywin Lannister. The king's chief advisor is his own grandfather? Lastly, because there's a lot of treason and turmoil, Ser Barristan Selmy is called forward by Cersei. He claims to be hers to command, but she tells him to take off his helmet. Then she tells him he's retired. This doesn't go over well, because he says that the Kingsguard (which he was in charge of until ten seconds ago) is for life. Cersei points out that at least one life is over, since Selmy failed to protect Robert from that boar that killed him. So the new Lord Commander of the King's Guard is Jaime Lannister. Selmy is outraged, since Jaime killed Aerys Targaryen while he was supposed to be guarding him. Now that I think about it, it's possible that Jaime was part of the Kingsguard. I guess it's normally "for life or until you kill the king." Varys tells Selmy he'll be given a handsome keep and some loyal retainers, which Selmy translates as "A hall to die in, and men to bury me." He announces that he will die a knight and starts taking off his armor. Littlefinger suggests that he'll be a naked knight. Then Selmy pulls out his sword, so the guards do the same. So far on this show, the combatant with the worse weapon and armor has done the best. Bronn vs. that guy in The Eyrie. Drogo vs. Mago earlier in this episode. I guess Syrio might not have survived, but I like to think he won. We didn't see a body, anyway. Selmy tells the guards, "Even now I could cut through the five of you like carving a cake. Then he throws his sword down and tells Joffrey to melt it down and add it to the others. He leaves.

That's the end of the planned announcements. Anyone else? Yes! Sansa creeps forward and would like to speak. She's announced formally as "Lady Sansa of House Stark." I think that's the first time I've heard her called "Lady Sansa." She nervously but formally asks for mercy for her father. This prompts some pontificating along the lines of how treason is a noxious weed that must be torn out, but Joffrey wants to hear her out. She agrees that her father must be punished, but argues that he never wanted to be Hand in the first place. And what about his conspiring with Renly and Stannis? She suggests that they lied to him. She's trying to paint a picture of Ned as an incredibly naive person, which isn't actually all that far off. Joffrey gets to the thing that he actually objects to: "He said I wasn't the king. Why did he say that?" Sansa turns out to be a pretty good advocate, because she points out that Ned had been injured (without mentioning who did that) and had been given the milk of the poppy. So he was all hopped up on poppy-juice, Your Majesty! He didn't know what he was saying! Varys pretends to be touched by her sweet, innocent faith. Pycelle takes a stronger tack: "Treason. Is. Treason." Joffrey asks if she has anything else, and she goes for broke, appealing to the kindness he feels in his heart. He considers, then announces that her sweet words have moved him. Except that Ned has to admit that Joffrey is king, "or there'll be no mercy for him." Sansa promises, "He will."