Up in The Eyrie, Sansa's note was apparently intercepted by Lysa. Or maybe she had a different note, because all we know about it is that it says that Ned has been thrown in the dungeon and Catelyn is mad about not being told. Lysa says that she's practicing patience, but Cat is spoiling for war. Doesn't Lysa remember that Ned is her cousin by marriage or something? Lysa says that family is very important to her, which is underscored by her creepy kid announcing that he's hungry and picking at her bodice for some breast-feeding. Incidentally, I'm told the kid's name is "Robert," not "Robyn." [Ed. Note: This seems to have changed from the book, where he's Robert, but the official HBO materials are listing him by the name Robin. ] But Lysa calls him "Robin" and I enjoy the idea that everyone in the Arryn family has a gratuitous "Y" in their names. So if it bothers you, just assume I'm using a nickname. Anyway, Lysa makes it clear that she will not be contributing any soldiers to the defense of House Stark, and then, in order to get Robyn off her, sends him off to get ready to be bathed. By her. Erk. Lysa makes it clear that she's learned to fear the Lannisters, what with Jon Arryn being dead and Bran being tossed from that window. And now Ned being in prison and Cersei being "Queen Regent." As a result, "The Knights of the Vale will stay in the Vale where they belong, to protect their lord!" I kind of hope Robyn is allowed to grow up in peace, because I think he's going to be a creepier lord than Joffrey has any shot at.
Tyrion and Bronn stroll through a lovely trail. Tyrion is whistling a jaunty tune, which makes Bronn worry about their safety. Apparently these hills are full of Hill People. And you know how dangerous those can be. Tyrion does not seem worried at all and cheerfully asks what Bronn's interested in: "Gold? Women? Golden women?" He says that he trusts Bronn, because he's clearly Bronn's meal ticket. Bronn, in a bid to maintain his independence, says, "I'm not your toady, and I'm not your friend" Tyrion's fine with that, because he mostly wants Bronn around to murder people to whom he objects. He also requests that Bronn remember that should someone try to turn him against Tyrion, Tyrion will beat any price.
Tyrion sleeps by the fire. Then Bronn wakes him up, because the Hill People are approaching. Those darn Hill People! Tyrion continues to be cheerful, inviting the unseen approachers to share their fire and their goat. The Hill People finally make themselves seen, and the tallest one, in a silly Viking-inspired hat, announces that he is Shagga, son of Dolph. He announces that basically every other sentence. He's also leader of the Stone Crows, although it's not entirely clear if there are any other Stone Crows present. He might have just invented his own gang to be leader of. Tyrion pleasantly introduces himself as Tyrion, son of Tywin. Shagga (son of Dolph) asks how Tyrion would like to die, and the answer involves being old, in bed, and in the process of receiving fellatio. That's a little cruel to whoever was being nice enough to fellate an aged dwarf, but it's enough to amuse Shagga. So he announces that the "half-man" can dance for the children, but the other one will be killed. Tyrion offers gold instead. No dice. Tyrion tries to get some street cred by pointing out that he stands out in the open, unlike the Stone Crows who creep around in the dark. And then he mocks their weapons and armor, saying that Lannister smiths shit better steel. This results in Shagga slicing Tyrions face with his axe and mocking the idea that Tyrion can win them over with trinkets. Tyrion clarifies the difference between trinkets (like this ring, which is worth more than Shagga's entire tribe, which he hands over without hesitating) and the things he's offering. Specifically, he's offering the entire Vale of Arryn. The current Lords of the Vale were intolerably rude to Tyrion, so he believes it's time for someone new to be in charge. Shagga seems interested now.