Game of Thrones
The Rains of Castamere

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A | 144 USERS: B+
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The Social Event of the Season

There's a change in the opening credits! We start with King's Landing as usual, but then Dragonstone and The Twins show up before Winterfell and The Wall. We close, as has become the custom in recent weeks, with Yunkai. I'm not sure Winterfell really deserves to be in the credits at this point. No one's even been there in this entire season. It's probably full of squatters at this point.

We open with a close-up on one of those maps that the generals have been using as a war table. Specifically, Casterly Rock. Ooh, the pieces are carved to represent their specific armies! So there are wolf heads and lions and even a little Flayed Man for the Boltons. Robb describes his plan to Catelyn: he thinks if he takes Casterly Rock, which is Tywin Lannister's home, everyone will see that Tywin isn't invincible. And then, I guess everyone in the kingdom will switch their allegiance to him. He wants Catelyn's advice, so he can follow it. Unlike he did when she recommended against sending Theon to Balon to ask for help, and remember how that turned out. (It turned out with Winterfell being burned down and Bran and Rickon being lost.) He says he has enough men to take Casterly Rock, "if Walder Frey cooperates." But Catelyn says that timely reinforcements from King's Landing would trap them between an army and the sea. But after considering the options, she says, "Show them how it feels to lose what they love." So the Casterly Rock plan is on, then. Whoever's guarding it will probably be surprised to be dragged into action, since I imagine they've been pretty happy not to be involved in the war so far.

Robb snacks on some bread. They're in Walder Frey's throne room already. Looks like we're moving this plot right along! Walder says that his honored guests are welcome in his halls and at his table. Upon closer inspection, I can report that they're eating bread dipped in salt. Robb begs Walder forgiveness, but Walder says he should apologize to his girls instead. The young ladies come out and stand in two lines. Walder says, "One of them was supposed to be queen. Now none of them are." He introduces them all, and I have decided not write down all the names. Most of them sound a lot like "Walder." Walder forgets one name, guessing "Waldina," and she has to correct him. Her name is "Mary," although the closed-captioning spells it "Merry." My ears are not sufficiently acute to tell the difference. Robb apologizes to all the women (and girls), saying that he loved another and hopes that the Freys and Starks can be friends. Walder claps sarcastically. If you're wondering how to clap sarcastically, the key is to do it very slowly and also wear gloves to muffle the sound a little. And make sure no one joins in.

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Game of Thrones

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