Game of Thrones
Valar Dohaeris

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | 12 USERS: A-
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Creepy Zombies Are Coming
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Oh boy! Season Three of Game of Thrones! As I understand the plan, this season will be roughly the first half of A Storm of Swords. Season Four will finish out the book, and then it gets complicated because A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons take place at basically the same time. [Note: The producers have also said that they're not going to worry about strictly staying in order of the books, so there's the likelihood that this season will have book two, three, four and five stuff in it as well. Beware of book spoilers, I guess? -- Rachel.] And by the time we work through those books, the child characters will all be played by twenty-year-olds and there's a chance that a sixth book will have been written. My advice is not to worry about the future. Just enjoy the ride and live in today, man. Oh! And I'd like to point out that the dedication for A Storm of Swords is "For Phyllis, who made me put the dragons in." So if you enjoy the dragons, thank Phyllis.

Previously on Game of Thrones: so very many things. Daenerys lost her dragons and Robb Stark agreed to marry someone and Melisandre gave birth to a shadow-demon-baby, and Jon Snow killed Qhorin. And "Blackwater" was an awesome episode and got nominated for a Hugo award this week. More immediately, Ser Mandon Moore tried to kill Tyrion, but he was protected by the power of being a character that everyone loves. Oh, and there were a bunch of what are probably either White Walkers or wights but could have been garden variety snow zombies or something. The show hasn't really gone out of its way to explain the taxonomy of whatever things exist beyond The Wall, but everyone seems to feel that these weren't the official White Walkers, even though they were pretty pale. And most of them were walking.

The actual episode starts with exciting battle noises and bird screeches. But the screen stays black. Is this an audio drama now? That's pretty edgy! It could also save on special effects. When we fade in, we're in a blizzard. Sam Tarly (the fat member of the Night's Watch) runs in a panic, surrounded by sound effects. He comes on three kneeling figures. When he stops, he says, "Brotha." But are these shadowy figures his brothers? They might have been once, but now they look dead. It's the way they're holding their own heads in their hands that does it. Sam looks around to see a figure walking out of the snow with an axe. But before it can kill Sam, a white wolf jumps out and attacks it. And then the figure catches fire! Not because this was some kind of incendiary wolf but because all the other Night Watch men are there. We didn't see them come up because they're cool and taciturn instead of running around screaming like Sam. Lord Commander Mormony asks Sam, "Did you send the ravens?" He did not. And it was his only job! I was going to say that as a joke, but Mormont explicitly clarifies that is was, in fact, Sam's only job. Mormont tells his men they have to get back to the Wall. Or everyone they've ever known will be dead! Also, they'll probably be killed and turned into snow zombies themselves, if that's the sort of thing you find motivating.

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Game of Thrones

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