Game of Thrones
Game of Thrones

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All's Well That Ends With Wildling Hoards

Brienne the Big is still saddled with Jaime Lannister, who just doesn't stop talking. Brienne does a good job of ignoring his lewd suggestions, insightful commentary about her sexual proclivities and everything else that comes out of his mouth. They arrive on land and immediately come across the bodies of three women dangling from a tree. The sign around the neck of one says that they laid with lions, meaning, of course, the Lannisters. Jaime points out that Stark men must have done it. Brienne reminds him that she doesn't work for the Starks, she works for Lady Cat. She prepares to bury them, but in the middle of securing Jaime to a tree, she is interrupted by three Stark soldiers. They do their best to belittle the woman who stands at least a head higher than each of them and also take credit for killing the three tavern girls. Don't worry, they killed at least two of them quickly. Brienne is strangely unimpressed. She tells them Jaime is a prisoner being taken to Riverrun, but one of the men recognizes Jaime as the Kingslayer. [Note: He then gives Brienne and Jaime the third degree, quizzing them with state capital and pop culture trivia questions and then finally forcing the two to say the "prisoner's" name at the same time to prove they're not lying about his identity/so that that the Stark men can say "JINX!" and Brienne will owe them a Coke. But obviously, before anything comes out of Brienne's mouth, she's already kicking the crap out of all three guys.] So she kills them; at least two of them quickly and the other much more slowly. [Note: Right through the Shaggydog, if you know what I mean.] Jaime looks dazed by Brienne's sword skills, so when she barks at him to stay while she buries the women, he does.

Robb wants to talk to his mommy. He's still mad at her for freeing his MVP (most valuable prisoner) but when it comes to matters of the heart, boys need their mamas. He sits in her tent begging for her approval to toss over Walder Frey's daughter and her bridge for the love of his life Talisa who is Charlie Chaplin's granddaughter. I mean can you imagine the YouTube hits that marriage would get? So much better than some bridge and a sacred vow. Lady Stark reminds him that Walder Frey is a dangerous man, but Robb doesn't care so she tries a different tact. Has she mentioned that his father didn't love her when they first married? Robb looks almost interested as she tries to convince him that sacred vows and the weight of tradition make for better, longer marriages than one's based on boring old love. She adds that if he starts recklessly breaking vows, his men may follow in his footsteps. Robb thinks about it for a second and then shrugs. He is still marrying Talisa. His father is dead and the only parent he has left has no right to speak of recklessness. Cat looks like she's been slapped as Robb walks out of the tent.

Game of Thrones

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