Game of Thrones
Valar Morghulis

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A | 5 USERS: A+
All's Well That Ends With Wildling Hoards

Once they are alone, Shae takes off the bandages and inspects his wounds, which NERD ALERT, aren't as severe as the ones described in the book. He still has most of his nose and an almost attractive diagonal slash across his face. She studies him calmly and shrugs. As he is wont to do, he gets bitter and defensive and calls her a whore who takes his money and has to tell him he's attractive. She replies, "Fuck your money," drops the mic, and raises her hands. Once Tyrion settles down, she tells him that they should leave. Go somewhere else, be happy. But for some reason (the continuation of the plot, mostly) Tyrion refuses. He loves all the party and bullshit and political machinations. He won't leave.

In a dark wood, Robb and Talisa get hitched. It's a private ceremony that look like the Westeros equivalent of going to city hall. Raise your hand if you think this ends well!

Daenerys Targaryen is still wandering around Qarth yelling, "Draaaaaaaaagggggggonnnnnnnns!!!!!!!!" and they are rudely not answering. They are SO getting a time out when she finds them. She and Ser Mormont and the one remaining Dothraki guard head to the House of the Undying to search for the dragons because it has a giant sign that says "Here Be Dragons" on it. The House of the Undying is a tower with no entrance. Daenerys walks around it and finds herself magically transported inside with no guards. She grabs a torch and starts yelling for her dragons again. Waaaaaaaaaaaaallllttttt!

The sun has risen on Arya Stark and her fellow travelers -- Robert Baratheon's bastard son and the fat kid who has thus far eluded stabbing, but it's coming, it's coming -- as they make their escape from their prison. Suddenly Jaqen H'ghar appears on a cliff above them and watches their procession. Arya goes to speak to him alone. She immediately starts pestering him with a thousand questions that he ignores. He tells her that if she wants to learn how to kill people Ghost Dog-style she has to come with him across the Narrow Sea and learn to be a Faceless Man. Then she can kill everyone she wants to take down -- Cersei, Joffrey, The Hound, etc. Arya wants to go with him, but she cannot abandon her search for her mother and brother. Oh yeah, and Sansa too. The way she says it reminds me of the way Disney's White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland would sigh and add "...and the King," whenever he mentioned the Queen of Hearts. Jaqen nods and says that they must part ways, but before he goes he gives her a coin of great value. If she gives that coin to a man of Brazos and utters a phrase, help will come. He makes her practice the phrase a few times and then turns to leave. She begs Jaqen to stay and he smiles at her as he tells her that Jaqen is dead. He turns for a moment, does something weird to his face, and when he turns around he is someone else entirely. He bids her farewell and walks off.

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Game of Thrones




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