Game of Thrones
Valar Morghulis

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A | 5 USERS: A+
All's Well That Ends With Wildling Hoards

In the snowy North, Jon Snow and Qhorin Halfhand pick a fight with each other as part of Qhorin's plan to have Jon Snow infiltrate the North. The Wildlings let them battle each other. Qhorin shouts some very rude things about Jon, until Jon Snow kills him. Jon is unhappy, but the plan worked. He proved himself to be a traitor to both the Night's Watch and the people south of the Wall. As they prepare to burn Qhorin's body because "you wouldn't want that one coming back," they cut Jon's hands loose. Ygritte takes his hand and leads him to a cliff overlooking a valley where a large town lies. She tells him that it's time to meet Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall.

Back in Qarth, Daenerys wakes the self-proclaimed King of Qarth with a little dragon wake up call. She finds him peacefully sleeping with Daenerys' hand maid and cuts the cut to the vault from his neck. They wake, and the hand maid begs for mercy because Xaro Xhoan Daxos told her that Daenerys would never leave Qarth alive. She's pissed, and goes to liberate his treasure from its vault. She opens it and finds... nothing. She blinks a few times and then turns to the King and thanks him for nothing. She locks him and the hand maiden in the vault and loots everything of value from his house. Most of it is probably fake, but she'll buy her boat with his gold one way or another.

Back in the North, three of the rangers are wandering in the snowy landscape when a horn sounds. It sounds once and they think a ranger has returned. It sounds a second time and they know trouble is upon them. Then it blasts a third time and they turn to run and run fast. A sudden snow comes upon them, and as two of them make haste back to the Wall, Samwell Tarly being chubby and uncoordinated trips. His friends and fellow rangers don't stop. He yells after them and when they keep running, he scurries into a hiding place behind a rock. It's not a very good hiding place and soon enough a wilding on horseback finds him. It's a scarily mummified warrior in white emaciated skin with startling blue eyes. Sam has the good sense to look away and the wildling leaves him letting out an unholy shriek and pointing his spear at the wall. The camera pulls back and back and back revealing a horde of wildlings, all dead, all frightening, all heading south.

Melissa Locker A.K.A. Lulu Bates is available for parties on Twitter @woolyknickers

Get the scoop on Season 3 from author George R.R. Martin and the actresses who play Daenerys, Catelyn and Sansa Stark from our friends at Wetpaint.

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Game of Thrones




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