Game of Thrones
What Is Dead May Never Die

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 5 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Who's That Giant Lady?

In a dark room lit only by a candle, Theon looks over a letter. And I have a pause button on my TiVo, so here's what it says:

Robb,
I hope this reaches you in time. My father has rejected the offer and plans to attack the North, raiding the shores and taking Deepwood Motte. Mobilize your army and make for the North before it's too late. I'll write again when I can.
Theon

Theon thinks. Then he burns it. In a neat shot! Anyway, Theon has decided not to warn Robb about the incoming attack. Well, I'm sure he'll find out eventually.

Out in the water, Theon is asked if he would consecrate his faith to the Drowned God. He would! He kneels. The litany continues: "Bless him with salt. Bless him with stone. Bless him with steel." That means he gets water poured on his head. It's all very symbolic. Now Theon has to repeat some phrases, including "What is dead may never die" and "But rises again harder and stronger." Theon stands. So he's definitely on Team Greyjoy, then.

Now it's time for the fallout from Tyrion's plan. Littlefinger is yelling at him. He appears vexed that he was made the fool. He's heard about the Martell plan and now feels that he was lied to. And that means he doesn't get Harrenhal. I wonder how the staff at Harrenhal feel about the rotating masters they've got going on. Littlefinger tells Tyrion to leave him out of his next deception. But Tyrion's already got one lined up and Littlefinger's got a starring role in some wacky plan to get Jaime Lannister released. Then Bronn comes in to announce that they've located the "filthy old stoat" that is Pycelle.

So... are they going ahead with the plan to send Myrcella off to the Martells? That's interesting, because it implies that Tyrion would have been okay with any of his three plans happening. Whichever one got leaked to Cersei was the one he was going to stick with.

Okay. Pycelle is in bed with a naked lady. Tyrion barges in and explains that Cersei somehow found out. Pycelle blames Varys, who has ears everywhere. Tyrion doesn't explain the part about how each person had a different thing they could have told Cersei about. Although I guess Varys could have found out about a plan he wasn't actually told about, then decided to leak Pycelle's to trap him. Pycelle tells his goons to cut off Pycelle's manhood and feed it to the goats. Oh! It's... that one guy! The barbarian from the hills! Shagga! It's Shagga! Shagga complains that there are no goats, so Tyrion tells him to make do. I don't think he cares what specific animal eats Pycelle's manhood.

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Game of Thrones

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