Game of Thrones
You Win or You Die

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 5 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Your Move, Creep

Hey, it's naked children! I wouldn't put it past this show to have a scene about naked tots, but they're just there so Littlefinger can look out his brothel's office window at them. At first I was thinking that it was a lousy place for an office, because these kids are running around being noisy, but then I decided that maybe Littlefinger just likes looking at naked children. Anyway, the scene shifts inside, where two women are having noisy sex while Littlefinger does paperwork. I guess maybe he just likes a loud workplace. Or perhaps not, because he tells the women to knock it off on the grounds that their fake orgasms are not convincing enough. Hey, one of them is Ros! This has to be rough for her, going from being the Number One Whore of Winterfell to getting remedial training in King's Landing. I mean, she was legendary up there. Both Theon Greyjoy and Jon Snow spoke very highly of her, and here Littlefinger is critiquing the details of her moans. He has Ros pretend to be the man and gives his employees some direction: "Well, go ahead! Slowly. You're not fooling them. They just paid you. They know what you are." Whore Lessons are surprisingly boring.

Littlefinger encourages them to "ease into it." He gives directions along the lines of "You're winning him over in spite of himself." and "He knows he's better than other men." Ros invites Littlefinger to enjoy them, and he claims to be saving himself for someone who is not beautiful, but who has impeccable bloodlines. He says that he was her little confidant, her plaything. Ros flips the other girl over so they can simulate doggystyle, which is how everyone in Game of Thrones likes to do it. Littlefinger never mentions specific names, but he launches into the story of how he loved Catelyn, but she loved Ned's brother. So he challenged Ned's brother to a duel, which he lost, but Catelyn wouldn't let Ned's brother kill him. Then Ned's brother "got himself killed before the wedding" and she married Ned. So from all this, Littlefinger learned that he'll never win by fighting. I really can't emphasize enough how distracting it is that he's delivering this monologue while two naked ladies are theatrically pleasuring each other. "I'm not going to fight them. I'm going to fuck them." It's not clear to me whether he knows Ros is all up in the Stark family's doings, or if she knows he's talking about Catelyn. Either way, his story's over and he tells the ladies to wash up because they're working tonight.

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Game of Thrones

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