Fall Pilot Season: Gary Unmarried

by Angel Cohn September 25, 2008
Gary Unmarried Premiere

It's the pizza guy. Nope. It's Vanessa. She's got news she has to share. There's a man in her life, too. Her son. So they're both liars that randomly sleep around. Good! The makings of a perfect relationship. How did Gary not notice a kid's bedroom when painting her house?

Time for the awkward meet-and-greet. Gary introduces Vanessa to his ex-wife and Dr. Crandall. Dr. Crandall starts spilling Gary's secrets from his dream journal. Dr. Crandall wants to help the fledgling couple work out their issues. Vanessa is smitten by the doctor who understands the stresses of single motherhood. Instant therapy session. There's humiliation and deception all around. For Gary, that's a turn-on. Then there's a boring discussion about feelings and stuff, with Gary acting like a man-child who isn't ready for a commitment. He starts freaking out. Runs out of the room.

In the kitchen Allison tries to comfort Gary, who has his head stuck in the freezer. This is weird. Of course, she gets in a dig about his fear of birds while doing it. So, of course, he needs to retaliate with a joke about how Walter is so old. Allison wants Gary to be happy. More polite verbal sparring and smiling. Then Louise walks in to inform everyone that the pizza is here. That doesn't seem to jive with Allison's organize healthy lifestyle, but maybe it's made from whole wheat dough and doesn't have cheese. Anyhow, Louise is instructed to tell Tommy that the food has arrived, but Tommy's in his room with a girl. Remember?

Allison freaks out because the door is locked. Danielle is not in the room anymore. They are apparently "in-world" together, or that's the line he's feeding his parents. They leave. Gary says that Tommy's not ready. Allison says she really knows what's right for her kids. He shrugs. Then he walks back in to Tommy's room. Tells his son that the pizza is ready. Then announces to Danielle that he can see her purse. She's been hiding under the bed. Gary smirks, but insists they leave the door open.

Downstairs, Gary sees Vanessa. He introduces himself to her. He's got an annoying ex-wife and two kids. She replies that she's a single mom with two tattoos. Let's give this thing the old college try, shall we? Wait, two? He gets to see the other if he finishes painting her condo. And we're done.

Not the worst show on TV by any stretch of the imagination, just average and kind of bland. Could it get better? It's possible, with funnier scripts or less generic plots. I guess I just have to decide how much boring Jay Mohr I can watch with the hope of it getting better before I crack. God, I really, really miss Action.

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