Generation Kill

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1138 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Sky Is Blue

It's an H&S supply truck who lost a tire to the trigger-happy Delta reservist fuckholes: "It was Shock Trauma! Bunch of fucking doctors, didn't they have to take an oath or some shit against fucking people up?" Good point. I was just thinking how like in most movies you have one asshole that gets in everybody's way, by being stupid or a prick or whatever, and then you get to hope that this person dies through the whole movie, but in this movie, it's about half and half. I don't even want to see the weirdos in Delta. Brad goes to ask Nate for a team to provide security while they change the tire, and fucking Sixta comes running up talking fifty times as retarded and horrible as usual. "-- Belay that, Devil Dog! Godfather's gots a mission, and that mission is now. Abandon this vehicle, put y'asses on another vehicle. Let's get moving. No buts! These asses ain't in gear 10 minutes ago, you's in direct disobedience of a direct order from Godfather hisself!"

He marches off like the incredibly useless fuckhole he always is, and Brad's like, "What's in the truck that we're just going to leave by the side of the road?" The Battalion's chow, M-16s, ammo, 400 pounds of C-4, couple of cases of Claymore mines... all kind of shit like that." Sixta screams from afar, "Torklesen!" -- and Brad has to take off because he's so disgusted by this latest idiot move -- "...Get yo bubbies in a runnin truck and load up right now. Y'hear me?" This guy's intonations and pronunciations are so fucking excruciating. I don't know if I can keep listening to him. It's the most annoying thing I've ever heard in my entire life.

Later, driving. No longer riding with useless cargo like food, ammunition, weapons or explosives. Nate asks Brad where the turn is, on comms, and he's like, "Coming right up!" Nate can assure him that Godfather is watching, and I can assure you in my turn that Godfather can suck it. Privately, Brad's like, "Dude, I am so lost right now." Ray's looking totally cute in his NVGs like some kind of virtual reality show from the 90s, chuckling: "Don't worry about it, buddy. I know where we're going. We passed seven villages. There's one more. Hey, do you remember the gay dog episode of South Park? The one where Sparky runs away 'cause he's humping all those other dogs and shit?" Brad is clearly uncomfortable with where this is going, but admits he remembers the episode well. Ray takes the corner like a champ, in the random darkness, and Nate is relieved on comms. "Hey, Brad?" Ray says in a low voice. "Do your Big Gay Al for me." Brad looks at him. "Come on, buddy! Do it for your old pal Ray, the one who made the right turn!" Suddenly Brad is fifty times as Swedish as he has been this whole time -- what is it with the gay thing that turns him back Swedish? -- "...Well, hello there, little pup. I'm Big Gay Al. Have you been outcatht?" Ray is tickled.

Generation Kill

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