Evan nods, like that has nothing to do with anything, because in fact it has nothing to do with anything, it's just a very moving scene from the book that needed to be in the show, and this is where it landed, and then part two of the same scene, which Jon Huertas manages to cock up unbelievably: "Hey, Dog, listen to this. I've learned there's two types of people in Iraq: those who are very good, and those who are dead. I'm very good. I've lost twenty pounds, shaved my head, started smoking, my feet have half rotted off and I move from filthy hole to filthy hole every night. I see dead children and people everywhere, and function in a void of indifference. I keep you and our daughter locked away deep inside, and I try not to look there. Dog, you think that's too harsh?" Evan laughs and says he thinks too much. Which is true, but you wouldn't know it from that performance. Which sucks, because that part really stuck with me and I wish it had been more respected in the show than to just be awkwardly tacked on while everybody's getting their last-minute heartaching speechifying on simultaneously across the entire MEF.

Encino Man calls Patterson out on a totally bullshit mission, escorting some engineers to chemlight a minefield. In the middle of the night. Just in case, you know, it were to suddenly present a threat in the middle of the night when they're not moving. Patterson's like, straight up, "Roger that. Now you copy this, Major. My men are not carrying out that mission. This is a no-go." Encino Man lumbers back to the beginning of the orders and starts repeating them again, and Patterson drops the phone. Eventually Encino Man figures it out, and of course he calls up Captain America immediately, and of course Captain America just about barfs with excitement and volunteers before fucking Swamp Thing can even sound out the first word.

In the truck with the guys, Kocher is forced to admit that yes, they were the ones that were suspended for trying to bayonet a prisoner, but like, they actually weren't, and they got exonerated: "The Captain was trying to bayonet the prisoner. I hear he's getting a medal for it. Same goofus who's got us all out here at night trying to mark a minefield." The guy makes this hilarious face like Eric just told him the story of the Golden Arm. They watch the guys walk across the minefield, and Dirty notes that they weren't actually supposed to go into the field, but just toss chemlights from the road. One of them blows up, of course, and then the other one, so they're all screaming and bleeding and shit, and Captain America drools for awhile, and Eric takes care of fucking everything as usual and bandages and tourniquets the guys while spinning plates on his head, and gets them into the truck, and I think one of them managed to lose an eye or something, and Captain America is still drooling, and finally they get moving, and Captain America's yelling to give him morphine, and Eric tells him that's not happening because he's nowhere near stabilized but Captain America doesn't get why because Captain America heard the word "morphine" in a movie one time, and then he randomly starts screaming about how they have to take this shortcut he may or may not have made up in his stupid fucking mind, and of course they drive into a ditch, and Eric saves the day once again and takes care of the guys, and whatever. Captain America sucks, did you know that? Now you do.