Bravo Company joins a crazy long traffic jam headed north, joining up with the rest of the First Marine Division on "Saddam's highways," per Iceman. Trombley bitches because they spent the first 48 hours of the war on point, and now they're in the rear-to-middle of a traffic jam. Because why the fuck would a reconnaissance battalion be anywhere near the front? Iceman laughs and tells Trombley not to "question the strategic plan."
Once they join the column, Person goes off on a rant that is near and dear to my heart, staring around at the other units' trucks and the stupid shit they have spray-painted all over it. "Angry American. Get Some? Don't Tread On Me? Let's Roll? Fuck, man, I hate that fucking cheesy moto bullshit... It's like that song, 'When stars and stripes and eagles fly'? Fuck, man, eagles fly in Canada too. When we got back from Afghanistan my mom tried to play me that song and I was all, 'Fuck no, Mom, I'm a Marine. I don't need to fly a little fucking patriotic flag on my car to show that I'm patriotic." Seriously. That's so ridiculous. Brad agrees, but in a way that conflates two very funny Iceman things into one less-funny, kinda-stupid Iceman things that never actually happened: "That song is straight homosexual country-music Special Olympic gay." Which -- while bringing to mind the highest achievement in televisual dialogue in the history of America ("I don't mean gay as in homosexual, I mean gay as in retarded") -- would have been funnier if they'd just left it alone: Iceman has a huge problem with country music, like country and western, and accurately calls it "the Special Olympics of music." Folding that into some generic gay joke cheapens them both, frankly. What I'm saying is that both the joke at the expense of homosexuals and the joke at the expense of the mentally disadvantaged deserve better.
40 km outside Nasiriyah, the Marines start noticing that Josh Ray Person is kinda tasty, and that the Iraqis are noticing it too, which they think is hilarious. Ray says not a word about this, just turns it into hate toward women or whatever and complains about how they're in the back with " the fucking chicks, the supply trucks and the hajji truckers," and he's super sad because they had been training for last week's scrapped bridge mission for "six fuckin' weeks" before it disappeared for no real reason. Garza agrees, from the turret up top, and says he'll be mad if the war ends before he gets some.