But this episode is all about that, because actually seeing Captain America and Encino Man doing the shit that they do, in living color, is kind of amazing. Like, this is Encino Man's brief to Nate: "We have to play the game harder. Godfather said that." Nate asks if, um, Godfather had any more specific orders, and Encino Man nods gravely. "Godfather told us the mustache-growing contest had nothing to do with building morale." Nate stares into space, because this is obviously going to be retarded. "Before the war began, Division G2 had covert asset intel that Iraqis planned to infiltrate our units. The mustaches were part of the General's plan to uncover enemy infiltrators." Captain America -- himself a mustache-wearer -- shits himself, because he already sees Iraqis where there are no Iraqis. "So if you see a Marine with a mustache from now on, he might be an Iraqi." Nate stares at nothing; every word offends his dignity more and more. "So no more mustaches. But the men don't have to shave tonight." And then he... walks away. Good meeting.
"Oh yeah," Encino Man says conversationally, as a tossed-off final thought. "Bravo's on point when we roll through Nasiriyah and then break from the main force." Before Nate can even recover from the mind-blowing douche chill that Encino Man inspires in his soul, Captain America gets in there all fussy and overbearing. "On point? In broken-down unarmored Humvees." He laughs bitterly. He's like that old woman in Accounting or whatever that thinks you are as deeply troubled by the situation with the coffee filters as she is. "They should change our name to First Suicide Battalion." He walks off muttering and laughing to himself about how he's the only one that actually understands what's going on here, and can you even believe that MEF doesn't see fit to follow his paranoid, stupid, inner-directed weird rules, and why won't anybody respect him, etc., and alone, Wynn stares at Nate, who's still kind of shell-shocked by the total assheadedness of those two goons. "We need to make sure the stupidity in this company doesn't roll down too hard on our guys," Wynn says. He has the most wonderful voice. There are so many good voices here, I guess after five years of speeches and stuff on The Wire it makes sense that you would cast for voices, but I could listen to Wynn and Doc talk all day long. Sixta, no.
Meanwhile, just "James Trombley" is met with more scorn from Cpl. Person. "Come on. Trombley, you should name your kid Jesus. I mean, your wife's Mexican. I mean, fucking Mexicans do it all the time. That's what's cool about knocking up a Mexican girl. She could drop a Jesus." Brad says sternly that nobody should ever have kids. "In fact, Trombley, you shouldn't ever have gotten married. Women will always cost, but marriage is the most expensive way to go. If you want to pay for it, go to Australia. For a hundred bucks you can order a whore over the phone. Half an hour later she arrives at your door... Fresh and hot, like a pizza." Trombley rolls over like a puppy for a belly rub because A) pussy and B) he likes being talked to like a man, plus C) pizza is good.