Meanwhile, in the boring Mitch plot, he's standing in the middle of the street not getting hit by a car despite my most feverish wishes. He's staring at a building. It's for sale. Cue five-note Get Real jingle in guitar. They tried to mask it, but I heard it. Kenny is in the library on his Ibook surfing the web without a phone line going into his machine. I still don't have my Ibook. If this means he not only has an Ibook but also the Airport, I hate Kenny Green. He's looking at a website on "How to Get the Girl" with pointers on "What to Do," "What to Say," "Where to Go," "How to Dress," and "How to Kiss." He makes the girl on the front page dance back and forth. Cameron enters with his petition names and some of them have phone numbers and sex offers. Cam tells Kenny to trust him, he'll get Rebecca. Cameron then leans into the monitor Kenny's been reading and acts like he's the one that pulled up the URL: "So, check this out. Dude." But his mouth doesn't match the words.
It doesn't matter because we are now in the girl's restroom hanging with Jodie and Meghan. Jodie asks Meghan how she likes "seeing how the other ninety percent lives [sic]." Meghan offers this Hallmark retort: "You know what? There's another ninety percent from wherever you look." Jodie moves her cigarette around but doesn't smoke it as she tells Meghan that everyone is happy she's pregnant -- "I'm not," Meghan has to interrupt -- because she's so popular and good in school. "You're the girl that mothers point at and say, 'Be like her.'" Meghan lowers her head and says, "Well, they should just be themselves." Oh, Meghan, sometimes it's hard to be so damn popular. "Yeah, easy to say when you're smart, pretty and popular," says Jodie, flicking her cigarette around. "Hey," Meghan says, "I got edge, okay? I pierced my navel." Bra-fucking-vo. "I slept with the water polo team," Jodie smiles. "That's the rumor, anyway." Meghan's hair is conflicted. A girl runs into the restroom and pukes. "Hey, Meg, you alright?" Jodie asks. Meghan looks ashamed. The girl runs off. Oh, Molière would be so proud. Meghan O' Donnell is preggers, not Meghan Green! How delicious! Meghan isn't pleased, because she just learned who her "real friends" are. Fade to commercial.