Get Real
Anatomy Of A Rumor

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Anatomy Of A Rumor

Meanwhile, in the boring Mitch plot, he's standing in the middle of the street not getting hit by a car despite my most feverish wishes. He's staring at a building. It's for sale. Cue five-note Get Real jingle in guitar. They tried to mask it, but I heard it. Kenny is in the library on his Ibook surfing the web without a phone line going into his machine. I still don't have my Ibook. If this means he not only has an Ibook but also the Airport, I hate Kenny Green. He's looking at a website on "How to Get the Girl" with pointers on "What to Do," "What to Say," "Where to Go," "How to Dress," and "How to Kiss." He makes the girl on the front page dance back and forth. Cameron enters with his petition names and some of them have phone numbers and sex offers. Cam tells Kenny to trust him, he'll get Rebecca. Cameron then leans into the monitor Kenny's been reading and acts like he's the one that pulled up the URL: "So, check this out. Dude." But his mouth doesn't match the words.

It doesn't matter because we are now in the girl's restroom hanging with Jodie and Meghan. Jodie asks Meghan how she likes "seeing how the other ninety percent lives [sic]." Meghan offers this Hallmark retort: "You know what? There's another ninety percent from wherever you look." Jodie moves her cigarette around but doesn't smoke it as she tells Meghan that everyone is happy she's pregnant -- "I'm not," Meghan has to interrupt -- because she's so popular and good in school. "You're the girl that mothers point at and say, 'Be like her.'" Meghan lowers her head and says, "Well, they should just be themselves." Oh, Meghan, sometimes it's hard to be so damn popular. "Yeah, easy to say when you're smart, pretty and popular," says Jodie, flicking her cigarette around. "Hey," Meghan says, "I got edge, okay? I pierced my navel." Bra-fucking-vo. "I slept with the water polo team," Jodie smiles. "That's the rumor, anyway." Meghan's hair is conflicted. A girl runs into the restroom and pukes. "Hey, Meg, you alright?" Jodie asks. Meghan looks ashamed. The girl runs off. Oh, Molière would be so proud. Meghan O' Donnell is preggers, not Meghan Green! How delicious! Meghan isn't pleased, because she just learned who her "real friends" are. Fade to commercial.

Mitch takes Mary into the old building and asks her to "look at what it could be." Mary freaks out that Mitch is going to change careers. Mitch wants to build, and not be a middleman anymore. Mary is petrified. You can see her huge house crumble in her eyes. The five-note Get Real jingle starts with organ playing in the background. Mitch wants to change his life. Mary gives him a big "But" and doesn't support him. They drive home in silence. Mtich watches his building get smaller in his rearview mirror and they still don't have a car wreck. Elizabeth makes sure she's going to have the house to herself the next night for her hot dinner date with the doctor. She offers breakfast to Meghan who turns it down. "Any sign of weight gain is a victory for them," she says, channelling Seventeen. Mary looks confused, since Meghan hasn't told her, but she doesn't bother to ask, as she is so concerned with running Mitch's life she doesn't have time for more problems. Kenny and Cameron are arguing. Cameron needs Kenny to write his speech for the student council. Cam talks about how skateboarding makes you feel manly when you're scared as we watch Mitch shave and get ready for work. He kisses Mary and leaves. "He's miserable," she says to Elizabeth. Elizabeth tells Mary to do as she always does and "Be there for him." Don't get in the way, just listen and be a good wife.

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