Get Real

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Pamie: D | 336 USERS: C+
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After Meghan tries to cry for a second, we cut to a nighttime shot. It's the back of a motorcycle as the Non-Tori wails, "Put my arms around the sun in a circle! And ohhhhh, it feeeeeels, so sweeeeeet!" Meghan and Sideburns are making out on the back of his motorcycle. Attention California! Be on the lookout for Motorcycle 8251L3! He is armed with bad dialogue and will use it. I repeat, he is a badly written bully who may potentially cause you intestinal harm by uttering lines like, "You're not the boss of me," and "Fatty-fatty, two-by-four, can't fit through the kitchen door!" Sideburns is still wearing Meghan's Periwinkle Tunic, but he's covered it up with the denim jacket Dirk Diggler wears when his mom kicks him out of the house. Non-Tori hits a really shaky C to sing: "And I fall into the night! And I-hiiiii-hi-hi-hiee lllieeeee on the wiiiind! I fah-hah-haaall out of your sight!" My male cats begin humping each other.

Cameron is on the Thinking Bench. Kenny walks out as Cam tells him that the only reason Meghan is breaking curfew is to piss him off. Kenny tells Cam not to be such an "Oliver Stone" and that there aren't any "conthpirathy theorieth." He lisps so hard that spit hits Cam on the ear. I don't remember Kenny having this lisp before this episode. Headlights flash on Cam and Kenny as Cam sets his jaw and says, "Well! Fiiii - naah - leee." Kenny makes a few "Mom" jokes at him and Cam gives him a look. I yell, "Hit him!" but it doesn't happen.

Meghan walks in as Mary is sitting down to have a late-night snack in the World's Largest Kitchen. Meghan asks if Mary is waiting up. Mary says she wasn't. Meghan apologizes for breaking curfew and says that there was traffic. "Traffic." That means, "I'm still not good at a hand job." Mary says that Meghan wasn't really that late, so it's not that big of a deal. Her neck cords twitch, so I know that it really pained her to say that. Meghan flips her hair, flips her hair, flips her hair. She says that it's "public knowledge" that Mary and Mitch got "intimate kinda early on." She says that she knows it doesn't give her permission, but she's looking for some perspective.

Get Real

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