Get Real
Choices

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Pamie: D | Grade It Now!
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Choices

No time for commercial mockery, there's even more crap in store.

The entire school has shown up at the bleachers, because I know that when I was in high school the coolest thing in the world was an eight o'clock bashing by the football field. One kid has brought a boom box. I'm not kidding. They've also got half these kids dressed in flannel. What the hell? Anyway, the usually silent kids are mumbling to each other that Cam and Sideburns are late and that they might not show up. The same kid who was laughing about Cameron getting beat up now shouts, "No way Cameron Green backs down, man!" Meghan is standing in the middle of it, looking around. From a corner of the action, we see Principal Foreshadowing, wearing a hat and a leather jacket that screams, "Pulp Fiction, here I come!" "You need any help out there --" Ferret exhales to Meghan. "-- I'll be right here," Clay finishes, and Meghan gets visibly wet. This is so worth her little brother getting beat up. Meghan giggles that her whole dangerous boyfriend thing sort of backfired. Clay walks away as Ferret says, "We'll find you a guy." Meghan keeps her eyes stuck on Clay. Ferret is such an idiot. "A good guy. Like Clay." We watch Clay be cute and silent for a few seconds. Meghan looks guilty and you can tell she's about to say, "I miss the taste of his saliva." Principal Foreshadowing walks in a different direction.

Cut to Mitch and Mary in their car. Mary is talking Pregnant Babble about how she's sick of "low-fat this and low-fat that." You know how pregnant women are always talking all crazy and how you just have to ignore them? Well, Mitch ignores her and watches the town's population of high schoolers who have gathered at night around the bleachers. He drives all slow as if he's casing the place.

A group of students stand in a circle cheering. We pan up from their backs to the center of the circle where we see one kid playing Hacky-Sack. Not even good Hacky-Sack. Whatever that is. The ball is just going up and down on this kid's foot, but these kids are whooping and shouting like the Hacky Sack is levitating. We pan up again, and this time we pan down to Ferret, Clay and Meghan sitting on the roof of the one car in the parking lot. Attention! Attention! Will the owner of the only car in the lot, the Red Beetle, please return to your vehicle? Your lights are on. Again, the one car in the lot? Your lights are on. Thank you.

Principal Foreshadowing walks through the football field braving the sprinklers. I don't know what he's looking for, but apparently it's much cooler to be a wet principal.

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Get Real

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