Meanwhile, in Ridiculous Plot Number Three, Kenny and Victor meet in the Greens-Only stairwell so Kenny can worry that the joint is going to cause "negative long-term effects." Victor says it might. "It could alter my DNA," Kenny whines. "Maybe for the better," Victor offers. They make the mandatory locker check. Kenny can't find his sunglasses. Victor makes a "joke" about how Kenny isn't even stoned yet and he's losing things. Hee-hee-hoo.
You know this next scene with Meghan is going to be really crucial to the episode because suddenly the only two people in the halls in the School Without Classes are Meghan and Clay. They just happen to walk right into each other. They stand next to the "No Railslide" sign. Clay starts. Well, he sort of snorts. He has this problem of his nose leaking air every few words. "Meghan [snorf], I thought I knew you better. Hard as it is, I understand what's going on between us [snorf], or not going on. But for you to wait all of two seconds and then start up with this Eurotrash Trent guy..."
The bell rings, and the silent milling students suddenly cram the halls, forcing Meghan and Clay to stand closer to each other. Meghan asks if Ferret told the whole school about Sideburns. Clay says she just told him. Meghan says that no one even knows Trent Sykes but that "somehow he's winning this big unpopularity contest." At least he's a winner. "That should tell you something," Clay squints. "Yeah, yeah, it tells me that no one understands I'm trying to work through this -- through us -- and you know, I'm sorry, Clay, but if I don't take care of myself, no one else will." Maybe no one understands because you haven't told anyone, Meghan. Duh. "Okay. Have it your way," Clay says. "But did you ever stop to consider that maybe you're not the only one who's hurting here?" Of course she hasn't. She's the Center of the Universe! This cheese line kicks off the worst song ever played in the brief history of Get Real. It's this terrible Tori Amos knock-off with a piano and a shrill "songstress." I take some Maalox.
After Meghan tries to cry for a second, we cut to a nighttime shot. It's the back of a motorcycle as the Non-Tori wails, "Put my arms around the sun in a circle! And ohhhhh, it feeeeeels, so sweeeeeet!" Meghan and Sideburns are making out on the back of his motorcycle. Attention California! Be on the lookout for Motorcycle 8251L3! He is armed with bad dialogue and will use it. I repeat, he is a badly written bully who may potentially cause you intestinal harm by uttering lines like, "You're not the boss of me," and "Fatty-fatty, two-by-four, can't fit through the kitchen door!" Sideburns is still wearing Meghan's Periwinkle Tunic, but he's covered it up with the denim jacket Dirk Diggler wears when his mom kicks him out of the house. Non-Tori hits a really shaky C to sing: "And I fall into the night! And I-hiiiii-hi-hi-hiee lllieeeee on the wiiiind! I fah-hah-haaall out of your sight!" My male cats begin humping each other.