Get Real
Crime And Punishment

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Crime And Punishment

Hey, guys. Did you miss me? Did you miss Get Real? Okay, dry your tears. I'm horrible at sloppy greetings. Does anyone remember what's going on? That's okay, Get Real gives us a past episode recap: Meghan likes her girlfriend's boyfriend. Cameron likes some girl with an evil dad (the Latino Bad Dad) who traps her in a tower. Mary is preggers.

The show opens with the Testosterone Guitar as a yellow sheet of paper floats from the School Without Classes with the giant word "Rave" written on it, just like every other "Rave" flyer. It's got a big ol' map drawn on it and everything. Meghan flips her hair to take a sip of water at the fountain and flips it back when she sees Clay (the taken boyfriend) sitting in their special spot with the slut-girl from the rumor episode. Clay looks at her for a moment. Testosterone Guitar turns into some "sexy" song with a woman crooning. Meghan sucks in her bottom lip and chews on it a bit as she continues staring at Clay who is sitting on that school wall, but there are no other students walking around the building. Suddenly she is next to him as the two stare into space and talk as if they are hypnotized. "Hey," she says. "Hey, yourself," he responds. "I think we should talk." "'Bout us?" "Is there an us?" He grabs her hand, which goes past that whole elbow-rubbing thing they were doing in the last episode. Clay grabs Meghan's head and they sort of rub noses for a second and then start the kissin'. He does a hair flip for her. The kiss is interrupted with Slut-Girl saying, "He's got a boyfriend, you know." Meghan looks as surprised to see this girl in another episode as I am as she asks what she's talking about. Slut-Girl makes some sort of joke about how Meghan is in denial. Meghan looks back longingly at her taken man.

Because she doesn't know what to do about her boy problems, Meghan is sitting on the bathroom wall with Slut-Girl, who holds her lit cigarette far from her face but never takes a drag. Slut-Girl tells Meghan she should just go for it and stop being so "Melrose." Meghan says it's not so simple, because Slut-Girl isn't Amy's friend. Oh, Amy, she's the girl who is now Meghan's best friend. I refer to her as Ferret. Slut-Girl offers to steal Clay away from Ferret, dump him a week later and then leave him so that Meghan can swoop in and take over. "Well, that's...sweet, but um, no thanks," Meghan says. "I think I just need to forget about Clay." Slut-Girl says that Meghan should just go out there and find some other guy. Meghan asks why she should listen to some girl who hangs out in the women's bathroom. "A little attitude!" Slut-Girl echoes the cries of tired viewers everywhere. How long has this friggin' scene been going on? Meghan rolls her eyes as Slut-Girl hands her the "Rave" flyer. I just want you to know that I'm using the quotation marks here because that's how everyone is talking about the "Rave" in this episode. It's as if they are all learning a new word. Meghan remarks that some guy got hospitalized after some "Rave" last year and Slut-Girl says it's because he tried to pierce his tongue with his car keys. She gives them more credit. There are some extreme close-ups here on the two girls as Meghan's hair tries to decide what to do by tucking and un-tucking itself.

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