Mary is at the doctor's office and finds out that she's in perfect health and shouldn't have any problems with the pregnancy. She comments that she never remembered it being this bad before and that she's terribly tired. "Well, you're not eighteen anymore," the doctor says, but I'm sure she meant seventeen, which we all know is when Mary had Meghan. Mary says that she keeps craving instant mashed potatoes, which she hates, and she keeps thinking she smells smoke. The doctor tells her that phantom smells are common. She shows Meghan the baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound and offers to make a videotape for her husband. "I think I'd better tell him first," Mary exhales as we see her face reflected in the ultrasound monitor. The Anxious Guitar plays as Mary continues to exhale and we fade to white and cue the opening credits. Now, I'm no doctor, but isn't that kind of soon to be looking at a kid's heartbeat? Just asking.
Not even treated to a commercial break, we zoom right into Meghan walking over to the family car. Kenny is in the driver's seat. He thanks Meghan for offering to give him a lesson. She buckles up, flips hair, flips hair, flips hair. Says, "You're welcome," flip, flip, flip, flip. She tells Kenny that she doesn't want to spend her life there, so let's get going, flip, flip, flip. Kenny starts blabbering about how he didn't think they'd just jump right in and why not give him a lecture or something. The hair-flipping is mercifully interrupted by Slut-Girl driving up in her convertible with the same hair as Meghan and actually says, "Hey, Green! I was gonna go do some shopping for our history project. You need some more vinyl in your wardrobe." Kenny gives Meghan the "History project?" look and Meghan says she'll explain later. Kenny says it's no problem and that she should go and "have fun." Right. The picture of a brother-sister relationship.
Meanwhile, Cameron is having lunch with Alicia. Alicia, you know, the girl from the last episode who he was just supposed to have that one dance with and then he could never see her again even though he loved her even though he had only talked to her once and didn't know her last name? He asks if she gets to eat in this fancy place all the time. She says that it's "Daddy's club, Daddy's little girl." I hate her. "I could get used to this," he says with a hair flip and then they start to kiss. He asks if she can get out of the house next weekend. She says that's pretty far away. He asks her to pencil him in. He says she should probably pencil him in for this weekend as well. All of a sudden she can see him anytime? Hello? He says that while she's at it she might as well make plans for him tonight. After all of this cheese, Alicia asks, "You never quit, do you?" And Cameron gives some cool-guy head-duck. She's all teeth and lips and says she'll meet him back at the restaurant at five. He leans over and picks up her purse for her and finds a bottle of wine in it. He actually asks what it is. Maybe Mary shouldn't have any more kids since she dropped this one so hard on his head. Alicia says she picked it out of her dad's wine cellar. "It's...so...we can celebrate!" she says. It's...so...obvious where this plot line is going! Cameron does the cool-guy PSA and says that he can think of a lot better things for them to do to celebrate. More kissing. Hey, isn't this her daddy's joint? I mean, if they have to sneak there to meet each other, should they be mugging down in front of the waiters?