Cameron shows up at the club/restaurant with his quick time-warp action and gets on his cell phone. There's this recording of a woman saying, "The number you have reached is not in service at this time and there is no new number." I've never heard that message given on the telephone before, but they made it sound all fuzzy so it comes off as more effective. Latino Bad Dad is in his restaurant and sees Cameron walk in. Cam walks over to him and says he's kind of worried. LBD tells Cam to leave. Cameron says he was supposed to meet her but she didn't show up. LBD tells Cam that he told him to leave Alicia alone and if he doesn't leave he'll call "Security." Cam looks up and clenches his jaw so we know he's being really manly here. He walks away.
Back in the World's Largest Kitchen, Kenny tells Cameron that he needs a driving lesson and "won't take no for an answer." "No," says Cameron. "I won't take 'no' for an answer a second time. So, you remember that," Kenny says. So endearing, just so true. Mary looks down at the counter and sees the big ol' "Rave" flyer on top of some schoolbooks. Remember kids, if you're trying to sneak out of the house to go to a party, make sure you act all surprised when your mom says you can go and then just leave big-ass fliers around the house announcing where you're actually going to be. She asks Meghan when she was going to spend the night at Jodie's. She hands the flier to Mitch. "A 'Rave?'" he asks. "Dad," Meghan begins, but they interrupt to say, "You are not going to a 'Rave.'" "Looks like you're out of luck," Kenny says to Cameron. "They're not talking to me, they're talking to her," Cameron says, because, Christ, he gets to sleep with girls in his bedroom -- what are they going to do? Oh, and if you're a cool guy who can't find his new girlfriend, drink the Iced Tea that Cameron drinks. Cool, from Nestea. Cool. For when you have good hair that you just have to flip to cover your insanely large ears. "You're letting Cameron go?" Meghan asks. "No one's going to a 'Rave,' period." Mitch says. "Why?" Cameron screams unnecessarily. "Why?" Mitch and Mary retort in unison. "Because you're underage and it's dangerous," Mary's neck cords say. "What is it with every parent I know trying to keep their kids locked up in the house?" Cameron echoes the cries of every struggling, Jeep-driving, silk-shirt under a blazer wearing, rich boy "playa." Oh, why must he be so rich and troubled? Meghan's hair is outraged and flips around to Cam to say, "Oh, what are you complaining about? You get to go wherever you want?" Mitch interrupts this moment of truth to say, "Hey, hey, hey, let's not use Cameron as an excuse, okay? He gets punished plenty." "Yeah, this isn't about me, alright? And this definitely is not about you," Cameron says, which makes absolutely no sense in the context of the argument, but it's only so that he can lean back and knock a bottle of pills out of Mary's purse in slow motion. The pills say "Prenatal Vitamins" and roll in slow motion over to Cameron's hand. He lifts them and -- this sounds like I'm making this up, but I'm not -- he tries to...oh, I can't actually type this without laughing. I mean, I understand they think that Cameron is dumb but this moment really takes the cake. They actually make him...try and read the words on the bottle. He's all, "Perrnal Vitamin...wait, wait, Pree Natalll?" Elizabeth is suddenly right there taking the bottle from his hands and reading the words like it's Storytime. "Preee Naaatal." I wish she'd then squish up his face and say, "Chrisssss Massss," but she doesn't. Instead he suddenly knows what "Prenatal" means and says, "Not even. Who's pregnant?" I guess he can't read his mother's name either, which is clearly written on the bottle that fell from his mother's purse, but we get to do this slow pan around the family. Is it Elizabeth? Nooo. Kenny? Nooooo. Is it Mitch? "Mom?" Kenny asks. "Oh, my God," we hear Meghan in something like a voice-over. Mary looks guilty. The kids look pissed. The phone begins to ring. Cameron jumps in slow motion from his bedroom door to the bed and picks up the phone and says, "This'd better be you." "Cam?" It's Alicia, and she's on a public phone in some nondescript hallway. She asks him to come get her. He wants to know what happened. She says that her dad just went crazy and she doesn't know what to do. She just wants to get out. She asks him to come and get her. Cameron has his hero face on, so we can just go to the next scene.
Why are there never enough commercials in this show?