Get Real

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | Grade It Now!

I hear the opening strains of the song for the next scene and I start crying. You have to understand that every time I go home for the holidays there is only one CD allowed in the stereo. It plays all Christmas Eve. It plays during the five-hour gift opening ceremony. It plays at Christmas dinner. It is the Time-Life Classics collection of Christmas hits. It has every single holiday song butchered into complete agony. My least favorite song on the TWO-CD SET is Dolly Parton singing Winter Wonderland. I can name that tune in one note, Bill. And that one note started up. I try very hard every year to escape those hits until that mandatory twenty-four hours of Bing, Dolly, Elvis and Wayne, and friggin' Get Real has to go and make me sit through that horrid song three friggin' days before I have to. My sleigh bells are all in a pinch. Mary is walking though a department store and finds a candleholder. She picks it up. A woman beelines over to her and shouts, "Where did you get that?" Mary checks to make sure that she's not holding either a Pikachu or a Tickle Me Elmo and that it is indeed just a candlestick holder and says, "Right here. I think it's the last one, but you can have it." "Thanks, but I need a hundred." It's MC Lyte. No, I'm not kidding. It's really, really, really MC Lyte. (St. Clare, the patron saint of Television, weeps.) MC Lyte says that she's been picked to throw "one of those millennium parties" as if this is some bizzare thing like these "Raves" they keep hearing the kids talk so much about. Mary asks if it's a corporate party. Lyte As a Rock says it's for a law firm. Mary asks if she has a location. Lyte admits that she hasn't even mailed the invitations. Mary says that she can help because she's a Professional Party Planner and gives MC Lyte a card. Mary says that she can help her without a problem. She slips her day planner and the candlestick holder in her purse. As she turns to leave, Store Security asks to see in her purse. He grabs the candlestick and asks if she has a receipt. Mary looks completely guilty.

Cut to Ferret screeching, "Later!" as Meghan gives her a look that says, "I hope you aren't planning on kissing our boyfriend." Ferret says that she'll see Meghan at Elizabeth's "open house." Meghan reminds her that it's mandatory. Non-descript woman walks in and asks which one is Meghan Green. Meghan says she is. Non-descript woman says that they arrested some lady up in housewares for shoplifting and she says she's her mother. Sensitive shoplifting music plays as we finally go to a commercial.

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Get Real




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