Aw, yeah. It's the last episode of the season. Since they filmed two more, don't be surprised if there are some summer recaps that fall in during that "Summer of Love" crap. I'm just sayin'.
Previously on Get Real: Mitch has thrown the family into crisis with his Frisky Father Firehouse. Mary starts taking control. That's it. That's all they showed.
Our last episode begins with Kenny wiping the lens of a camcorder. We are in camcorder mode as Kenny begins filming. He focuses on a card that reads: "The Green Family: A Profile in Courage." He reads it out loud to us, in case we're still as stupid as they think we are. Kenny pulls the camera back and films Cam walking into the World's Largest Kitchen. He asks Cam for a story about the Green Family Courage. Cam holds his hand up to the camera and says it's way to early to be asking questions and filming. Kenny says it's for a social studies project. Social studies? They still teach social studies in high school? I haven't had a social studies class since the fifth grade. Man, the School Without Classes is way behind. Cam tells Kenny that he just needs food. Elizabeth hands him a plate. Kenny puts down the camera with an exhale and walks over to the counter. In an unnecessary shot, we are in camera mode focusing on a plate of Rice Krispie treats. There is an amazing amount of food on the counter for breakfast. Kenny asks Elizabeth to help him out for his assignment. She asks what it's for. He says that he's supposed to do a record their family's oral history and that, "History is comprised of courageous acts performed by ordinary people and we are nothing if not ordinary." If ordinary means self-centered, pretentious and boring, then yeah, Kenny's right on the mark. Elizabeth reminds Kenny that "Grampa Green" is coming and that he's "quite the talker." I'd like to tell Kenny that Mitch probably has a few theories on the family's "oral history," but no one is asking me.
Mitch is whining to Mary about his dad coming to visit. They both get ready for "work" in their enormous bathroom. Mitch says that his dad is always on his case (his words) and that if he finds out about the firehouse he's just going to want to get involved. Mary tells him that Grampa is only coming for a few days and that he should just stay calm. She tells Mitch that they should probably tell the kids "about the house." Mitch asks if they should do that "before or after [they] put up the 'For Sale' sign." She says they can't put it off forever. She whispers "forever" so we know her secret problem is just killing her. Mitch says that he's got a potential buyer coming in. "Cross your fingers," he says. "Cross my heart," she whispers, which really doesn't mean anything because A) Crossing your heart doesn't mean you'll have hope, and B) Mary's heart is cold and black and shriveled when she got pregnant with Meghan when she was seventeen. Mary tells Mitch that they are going to "get through this," and the camera spins around to Mitch in the mirror as he exhales so strongly the mirror fogs up into the image of Saint Clare with a gun.