Get Real
Passages

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Passages

Previously on Get Real: The clip editors took out the mistake on Cam's PSAT book. Meghan is dating a twenty-three-year-old. Kenny got arrested for being a peeping tom.

Welcome back. The show opens with bad computer-imposed images of Mitch and Mary in their coffee cups while they discuss Mary's chances of getting "The Museum Deal." "You land this job, dinner is on me," says Mitch. "I land this job, dinner is me," Mary slobbers back, and they open-mouth kiss so we know that whole intimacy thing has been resolved. Cameron walks by and grabs a hot waffle, I guess so we can see he's so dumb he'd grab a hot waffle and say, "Ow. Ow. Ow. Hot. Hot. Ow," without putting it down. Elizabeth is on the phone with the doctor's office. They keep putting her on hold. She's whispering in the phone, because in television if you whisper on the phone the three other people in the room cannot hear you. She makes an appointment to come in. Kenny re-explains to us that he got caught accidentally peeping in Rebecca's mom's window and now he's got court-ordered therapy. I'd rather have seen the court hearing. Shot of Rebecca's cleavage. Shot of Rebecca's mom's cleavage as she screams. Meghan and Mary have another argument about how Brian (a.k.a. Soul Patch Boy) is too old for her. "The only thing a twenty-three-year-old thinks about is sex," Mary says. "News flash," Meghan flips her hand. "Same thing for all seventeen-year-olds." "Sixteen-year-olds," twenty-seven-year-old Cameron think-talks as he raises his pot-holdered hand. "Fifteen-year-olds," raises Kenny's hand. "Two for one at Arby's?" thinks eunuch Mitch. Brian just walks his patchy haired face right into the kitchen. He's wearing the same thing he wore at both the party and their date. Everyone stares at him and smiles. Meghan says he's giving her a ride to school. "As long as he stays out of your pants it should be fine," Cameron says without even one slap to the head from Mom.

"Does your Mom hate me or my shirts?" one-shirted Soul Patch Boy laments. "Because I have no God and therefore, no soul." Okay, he didn't say that. But admit it. You bought it for a second. Anyway, Meghan says she only started dating Brian "out of spite," which is a good way to ensure a lasting, loving relationship. Brian appropriately retaliates with a "Thanks. Now I'm pumped." Meghan says she likes him for "this," and closed-mouth kisses him a few times and then bites her lip. Cue the five guitar notes in the Get Real theme song. Please keep track of this sound cue. It's about to get stupid. Meghan does more closed-mouth kissing as Mary watches through the window and leans her head back in agony.

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Get Real

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