Everyone has abandoned me. I'm losing it, people.
Blonde boy walks out, tells Meghan he'll see her in trig and Meghan think-talks to us that four months ago she had a million reasons why she absolutely had to break up with Dan Royce. "So why can't I remember a single one?" she asks while her hair looks at us pleadingly. Fade to white. It matches the color my hair is turning. ["Oh, sorry, Pamie. I was asleep. I promise, you only have to do this until the show gets cancelled. I'm sure it won't be more than one or two more episodes." -- Wing Chun]
Fade back to the Oh Shit -- Cameron! Plot as those five notes repeat over and over. Cameron isn't going to go back in the water. He doesn't understand how he could have freaked out down there. He's good at everything. "Oh, I bet he'll say, 'Nothing like that has ever happened to me before,'" Eric says. Cameron doesn't say that, but he does say, "I don't get it. You know, normally I'm good at this stuff. I motocross, I ski, I board..." The instructor tells him that diving isn't a jock sport. He tells him to give it another chance and that he won't let Cameron go in the ocean until he's ready. "Trust me, dude, I'm a pro, okay?" Okay, dude. Cameron says he's done with diving.
Fade to Mary on her laptop as the five-note Get Real jingle swells yet again. Cameron walks in carrying all of his scuba gear and looking bummed. He asks Mary to get the door for him. She asks how the lessons went. He says there won't be any more lessons. "And the reason for that would be?" Mary asks, proving the writers didn't learn their lesson last episode. Cameron gets all feisty and beats Mary over the head with his enormous ears until she opens the door for him. What? You don't care what really happened.
Fade to white to Elizabeth's answering machine. The doctor is saying that they missed their flight, so he's going to go home. He's worried about her. She's lying on her bed, frozen.
Kenny is rooting around a drawer pulling out condoms and pornos. "You're going through Cameron's sex drawer," Meghan barges in. "Oh, God. That's gross." This coming from the girl who invites Kenny in for her baths. "He'll kill me," Kenny says. "Please don't tell." Meghan is searching for her Ethiopian Cross that she wants to give to Julia. She finds it and then sits down to have a sex talk with Kenny. He asks her what her first time was like. "Whoa!" she says. "Presumptuous, party of one, your table is ready." I say, "Kevin Williamson, party of one, your royalty check." He apologizes, and tells her that he's really confused because now there's this girl that just wants him and only him and not some football player and now he's rooting around in Cameron's things for a condom. Cue the sensitive five-note Get Real jingle. He admits that he's scared. She tells him that she did come close once to doing it. Flashback to the blonde boy. She says that he would do stupid little things for her that she liked, like giving her a phone card so she could call him when he went off to soccer camp. "Phone cards," Kenny echoes for no reason. Dan and Meghan are kissing against a tree. She jolts back and pushes him away and fastens the one button that was opened on her shirt. He's wearing his shirt in such a way that it looks like a toga and his hairy chest is half-exposed as he gives her a questioning look. "I don't know, I just couldn't go through with it," Meghan tells Kenny. "I wasn't ready." They broke up a couple of months later, so she's pretty sure she made the right decision. Kenny asks how you know when you're ready. Meghan reads from the book of Hallmark and says that she likes to think that you could be miles away from the person and just close your eyes (as Kenny closes his eyes) and you can still hear the sound of their voice and picture the color of their eyes. Oh, barf, barf, puke. "Are we talking love here?" Kenny asks. "Yeah, maybe, I don't know, I don't know. At the very least, make sure you really care about each other. Um, until I come up with a better plan, it's, it's what I'm holding out for." Close up on Kenny as we have a Very Special Fade To White.