We shoot into a flashback. It's the same under-the-bleachers location as in episode one where Kenny fought the bully. Some discarded pom-poms are on the ground as we pan over to a girl in a bra on her back as a guy in a football jersey climbs on top of her. "Oh, Mary," we hear without emotion. "Oh, Jacob," comes the monotone reply. "Oh, God," comes my response. They open-mouth kiss to the bum-chica-bum-bum music playing in the background. Flash to white to Mitch saying, "Well, he seemed to know you." Mary looks up like Hester Prynne but doesn't say anything. "He said to say 'hey'," Mitch sneers. Mary exhales and says, "Oh, the curse of popularity." I guess we know where Meghan gets it. Mitch bitches about how the reunion is going to be just like sitting in Jacob's office that day, trying to jump through hoops and spin his life into the right direction to make other people happy. "Mitch, you are being such a guy here," Mary says, which doesn't really make any sense, but I assume she's still fantasizing somewhere, so I won't blame her for what's coming out of her mouth. Hee-hee. I just made a bit of a pun. Sorry. Mary tells Mitch to not let his work define his life. "You're forgetting all the great things you've got going for you. Mitch, you look great --" and they both laugh. "You've a beautiful home, three incredible kids, a dog who likes to eat garbage..." I guess there's a dog somewhere. Who knew? Mitch pulls Mary into his arms and says, "Yeah, well, I got one other thing over Jacob. I got you." Mary's eyes widen as she says, "Im-him." And her brain flashes back to the girl and the boy screwing under the bleachers. She looks towards Mitch as if to say, "And I never had it as good since."
Back in the We Forgot To Write Cameron A Plot plot, Cameron is underwater with the other scuba divers. He thinks it's like flying. But he notices that the breathing sound is loud. The equipment is heavy. He freaks out, swims to the top and throws the mask off his head. He's gasping and splashing in the four-foot end. The instructor holds Cameron and tells him he's okay.
Flash white to a yearbook shot of Mitch. It's supposed to be Mitch, but it looks nothing like Jon Tenney. Meghan and Kenny call him Greg Brady and then they find "Marcia." Under Mary's high-school picture, which looks nothing like Debrah Farentino, it says "Master's Degree. Travel. Learn About Life." The next picture, for Karen Pit, it says "Acting Major." Hmm. Oh, well. Tra-la-la. Meghan carpe diems and says, "So, you wanted to travel, huh?" "Yeah, still in the cards, I hope," Mary says. Meghan tells her that Julia thinks she should take a couple of months and backpack around Europe and use her college fund to pay for it. Mary's neck cords spasm so mightily that Kenny is forced to jump up and exclaim that he thinks his bed is on fire. He leaves. Mary and Meghan argue about money and responsibility. Meghan tells Mary that Julia said "obsessing over the future ruins the present." "Oh," Mary says, "does Julia also do bumper stickers?" "Why do you always have to belittle?" the pot says to the kettle. Mary says she's happy Meghan's on a first-name basis with her Lit teacher but it doesn't give Julia the right to butt in on Meghan's life. Meghan growls that her and Julia are friends. Every week there's a new best friend. "Trust me, the last thing I need right now is another parent," Meghan brats out. She gets up and leaves to a thunderous five-note Get Real jingle. Mary cocks her head to the side like the RCA dog. Fade to white and (finally) commercial.