Back in the Office of Constant Office Hours in the School Without Classes, Julia, Meghan and Blonde Boy are boxing up Julia's things. Blonde Boy asks Meghan why she looks so bummed. "I had another fight with ma-mah," she says as if she's Pip. Her hair is sad. "The usual?" he asks. He tells her that she's got just a typical mother-daughter relationship going. She tucks her hair back while he's talking. Even her hair interrupts. "Nice, I've been reduced to a cliché," she says. I hate her. He's quiet for a moment, I assume planning on which words to use to tell her to stick her fat head up her ass, but instead he keeps that 'N Sync lean going as he says, "Nothing about you is a cliché." Oh, barf. Cue that damn five-note Get Real jingle, oh, Jesus. Wing? Wing? Can I stop doing this now? Nobody cares about this damn show and I feel like I'm in a personal hell! I am hitting my head on my monitor right now. I have just puked up all my food. GET ME OUT OF HERE! Wing?
Everyone has abandoned me. I'm losing it, people.
Blonde boy walks out, tells Meghan he'll see her in trig and Meghan think-talks to us that four months ago she had a million reasons why she absolutely had to break up with Dan Royce. "So why can't I remember a single one?" she asks while her hair looks at us pleadingly. Fade to white. It matches the color my hair is turning. ["Oh, sorry, Pamie. I was asleep. I promise, you only have to do this until the show gets cancelled. I'm sure it won't be more than one or two more episodes." -- Wing Chun]
Fade back to the Oh Shit -- Cameron! Plot as those five notes repeat over and over. Cameron isn't going to go back in the water. He doesn't understand how he could have freaked out down there. He's good at everything. "Oh, I bet he'll say, 'Nothing like that has ever happened to me before,'" Eric says. Cameron doesn't say that, but he does say, "I don't get it. You know, normally I'm good at this stuff. I motocross, I ski, I board..." The instructor tells him that diving isn't a jock sport. He tells him to give it another chance and that he won't let Cameron go in the ocean until he's ready. "Trust me, dude, I'm a pro, okay?" Okay, dude. Cameron says he's done with diving.
Fade to Mary on her laptop as the five-note Get Real jingle swells yet again. Cameron walks in carrying all of his scuba gear and looking bummed. He asks Mary to get the door for him. She asks how the lessons went. He says there won't be any more lessons. "And the reason for that would be?" Mary asks, proving the writers didn't learn their lesson last episode. Cameron gets all feisty and beats Mary over the head with his enormous ears until she opens the door for him. What? You don't care what really happened.