Get Real

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | 297 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Pilot

"Hey, Mar?" we hear from offscreen. The lighting has changed completely. Suckas! Welcome to the first Get Real dream sequence. Mary sees her husband come tromping out of the bathroom. He is not the same man. I don't mean that in some love song sort of way, I mean he's played by a different actor. Still, Mary checks her shoulder just to be sure. Nope. Still nothing there. Must have been a dream. Dad makes one comment about reminding her to take the kids somewhere and they are instantly fighting. They use words like "issue" and "meeting" and "closing a deal" so we know they are grown-ups with grown-up business jobs. At one point she calls him "Mitch." THAT'S NOT DAVID! [picture Dr. Evil pinkie here]

Pan down the hallway with a voice-over: "I'm trying to remember the last time my mom and dad started the day without fighting." The pan ends at Kenny's face. He looks into the camera: "I can't," he says.

This style will get old soon.

"I mean, everything in this house is changing," he continues as we watch him walk but don't see him talk, which has now suddenly become a pre-pubescent mix of high and low tones complete with a crack. Just for that sentence. "Including your voice," I say. "Including my voice." Ah, another show I could have written while I did my taxes.

Here's the big exposition voice-over narration. We see Grandma walking up the stairs. Kenny, for some reason, sits down to watch her carry towels. She's been living here since Grandpa died, we learn. Hey, it's the lady from St. Elsewhere and Ross's mom on Friends. "You're going to school like that?" she asks him. Kenny is only wearing socks. "Cameron stole my Airwalks," he says in a cool non-commercial plug way. "That's nice," she replies, and walks on. There's your witty Grandma banter. Dad and Mom make quick fighting words as they pass each other through some door in what is quickly turning out to be a very large house. Mitch: "This is how you want to start your morning?" Mary: "This is exactly how I don't want to start my morning." Thanks for wasting six seconds of my life on unnecessary dialogue, guys. "As if this place wasn't Toontown enough," Kenny says for absolutely no reason, "we're remodeling the kitchen." Shots of lots of people walking around their now-mansion. "Sure it's dusty and loud -- "

Get Real

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