The newscast is telling us about the girl who still needs a kidney. Mary turns off the television by pushing a button on the set, prompting me to wonder with a 40" screen like that how they don't have digital cable. "Mitch," she says, "can that wait? I really need to download my day with you." If someone ever said that to me, I'd start a fight, which is exactly what they do. She says that talking to Cameron is like "talking to cheese." Mitch still ignores her. She hits him with a whammy: Meghan is nominated for valedictorian. This stops Mitch in his tracks. He has to sit down. He has to slow down. He's an out of touch father, blah, blah, blah fishcakes. They mention they don't talk over breakfast anymore. This starts some argument about Eggs Benedict that leads me to think they shouldn't be married anymore anyway. They plan a date for the next evening that we all know won't be kept. Gross parent scene involving sex talk about garter belts and open mouth kissing while guitar music plays in the background (think the parent music from My So-Called Life). He gropes her butt.
In the five-car garage Kenny asks Cameron for advice. Cameron blabs something about Butch and Sundance and I realize that Cameron's character is Joey from Blossom. He tells Kenny to kick the guy in the nards. "Thanks, Fonzie," Kenny says, which forces my one laugh of the evening. Cameron goes back to making out with a girl under the car. She's neither Gabby nor Dakota. He's got the Stephen Baldwin touch. Kenny is now dreaming of beating up Frank. Frank punches Kenny once and he's down. Fight bell sounds. Dream continues with sexy jazz and Winnie Cooper in a slip running for maximum boob jiggle to Kenny's aid. He nuzzles against her boob. He wakes up. "How the hell am I ever going to face -- " "-- my parents after I break the news to them," Meghan interrupts, complete with pensive hair tuck. She wishes her mom didn't get knocked up when she was her age so she wouldn't be here wishing she wasn't here. She walks into Kenny's funeral as Cameron air guitars next to the priest, who is lamenting about a life taken before he saw his first boob. Kenny wakes up during breakfast. Builder is talking more builder talk and Mary whispers in Mitch's ear: "Two words: crotchless panties," sending creepy vibes around my home.
At the non-descript schoolyard bleachers it looks like Frank isn't showing up. Of course he arrives late due to his last fight, and he's got on an army helmet and rides a motorcycle. Kenny whines again that he's never going to see or touch a real boob. He tries to kick Frank in the crotch. Frank catches Kenny's foot and gives him one good punch, sending him flying. Altogether now, with victor: "Oh my God! You killed Kenny! You bastard!" I know this is the only reason this kid is named Kenny and it makes my ulcer act up. Kenny hallucinates that victor's chest is Girl of Dreams' chest and victor drops him on his head, furthering his concussion. Meghan is sad with butterfly clips. Cameron skates. Kenny puts a Coke on his head.