White fade into Kenny happy that Cameron's car is broken. "Payback, like Linda Tripp, is a bitch," he says, forgetting the level of intelligence he'd been playing to He kicks the jack from under the car and kills him. It's just a dream, silly. At dinner there's a toast about Meghan's valedictorian nomination. She stands up and thanks everyone and then drops the bomb. She turned Berkeley down. "Are you gay?" asks Grandma. "Because you turned that nice boy down and you have that poster of the two lesbians --" In case we forgot the earlier joke. Plus, if she was gay, wouldn't Berkeley be a nice place for her to go? Besides which, who turns down college because she is gay? Cameron is so mad he has to leave the table in a crazy "I hate everyone" way. "I'm still the same girl you loved two minutes ago," Meghan begins. "How can you do this to me?" Mary asks. "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for me." I reminisce about how good a movie Some Kind of Wonderful was. Meghan calls Mitch "Daddy" and everyone starts listening to her. Mom interrupts in typical mean-My-So-Called-Mom sort of way and Meghan flips out and screams, "Maybe you're the one that should just go!" I wish Judd Nelson was there to start clapping. Mary picks a fight with Mitch about him being a cheapskate and happy that Meghan's decision will save them money. Cameron speeds off in car with Kenny's Girl of Dreams. We watch him drive recklessly for a few seconds. Mitch sips a shot glass of Coca-Cola. Mary enters with a mean blue light on her face. Mitch says this is all her fault. She says she's the only one involved in her kid's lives. They bring up Mary's shotgun wedding once a-friggin-gain.
Cut to upside-down Meghan voicing-over her pain. Her hair is back, so I can't tell what she's feeling. Parents are arguing that their lives aren't what they wanted them to be. They've made mistakes. Mitch is pissed that he's worked so hard to give them their mansion and new cars and he mentions he lost "the deal." This stops Mary long enough for Mitch to fling the patented, "There's a lot of things you don't know" at her. Cameron is still driving too fast. Mitch is laying into Mary hard. He puts up with being married to her because he has to. Then he gives her the big one: "If you can't get all the way to loving me, at least try to understand me." I laugh so hard I almost miss Mary whisper, "If this were Cheers they'd have sex right now." I have no idea what this means or where it came from. Neither does Mitch, because he goes to sleep in the guest bedroom. Builder comes out of the bathroom and mentions his stinky night-poo.