Get Real

Episode Report Card
Pamie: D | Grade It Now!

A knock on a door. Through the peephole Pete sees Mary waiting at the door. He turns around and checks his hair, puts a strawberry in a champagne glass, fills it with champagne from the ice bucket, purses his lips, looks himself in the mirror and actually winks at himself. Pete then puts down his copy of Generic Television Smarmy Guys: The Art of One-Dimension and goes to answer the door. Guess who's at the door? Not Mary! It's the ol' switcheroo, Get Real fans. Susan is fuming at the door and Pete is busted. Susan turns around so we can see Mary far down the hall getting into the elevator. I mean way down the hall, like from a mile away. You know, like where we saw this plot from? Her neck cords push the button for the bottom floor as we fade to commercial.

We fade up on Mitch sitting in his living room drinking a bottle of beer. And if you're going to drink a beer, make sure it's the same beer as Mitch Green drinks. Beck's beer. Beck's, for when you absolutely positively have a family but prefer to be too smashed to care about them. Mary enters, plops on the couch and tells Mitch not to count on those box seats. He says it's okay since the Dodgers suck this year. An interesting comment since baseball is over but, you know, whatever. Mary puts her feet in Mitch's lap for a rub as she says that the minute Pete propositioned her she lost a friend. "Which one?" I wish Mitch would ask, but he's pretending he cares at the moment. Mitch goes on to say that it's hard living at home and "listening to everybody's problems," and how he remembers coming home and listening to Mary list off everyone's problems but not really listening. He makes a confession: "I thought you had it easy." Now he's thinking about working out of state. Mary makes him promise to take her with him as she curls in for the cuddle. It's hard being a dad for two days. Can we have a moment of silence for Mitch's sacrifices?


Meghan is walking down the hallway of the School Without Classes as some extra who I think used to sing for the New Radicals bulldozes her shoulder. She drops her bag. "'Scuze you," she sneers while rolling her eyes. Her teen feminist book has fallen out. She opens it to read the inscription. Meghan reads it out loud in case we really are as dumb as she thinks we are. "To the coolest teacher ever to hit Austin. Don't ever change! Love, Cindy Plonkitt, '97." I call Information and get Cindy's number. I got her machine. Meghan rolls her eyes toward heaven as she exhales and goes to throw the book away. She stops herself, looks around and we fade to Kenny in another room. It appears that Kenny is in a library or something because there are tables and some people are asleep, but there is a teacher at the front of the classroom, but she isn't saying anything. Kenny is lamenting over Rebecca being gone as a wad of paper hits him in the head. He looks up to see Victor gesturing towards him. Instead of walking over to Victor he opens the paper which reads "Rebecca is Here!" in these huge letters. Kenny stares at the paper for about fifteen seconds and then looks up at Victor who is still gesturing like he's the Scarecrow on his way to Oz.

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Get Real




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