Cameron has walked into his new classroom. There are six students. Everlast is playing, because Cam is so damn street. As Cam chooses a seat (which isn't what happens in Alternative School, but whatever), two "students" stand up from the back desk in unison and do some sort of hand signal and shimmy in time to the music on either side of Cam's desk. Either we're about to be treated to Cam getting pulverized or a very special rendition of "Beat It." Either way, I can't wait. The kid who got thrown out of the school for the metallic dildo is back and in Cam's face. "We need money," he says to Cam. They lean in towards his face. "It's for a good cause," he adds. "What's the cause?" Cam asks, trying to be cool. "Band uniforms." "The school doesn't have a band." The other kid whips out a black wand and flips it open like Cam's about to get Nun-slapped. "We're starting one," he says. He presses the wand up to Cam's cheek. "Wanna learn how to play the flute?" Whaaaa? Wait. No. What? Seriously. Cameron slaps the wand down as metallic boy grabs Cam's face and holds him close. Oh, so close. Close enough to feel the breath on his neck. The other boy leans in nice and tight to Cam's lips as Cam pants and touches the other boy's neck with his fingertips. "I'm not really into music," Cam retorts, as the female extra in the background is suddenly right in the shot. Metallic Boy licks his lips and says, "Give it up," and then gives a sexy exhale. Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him please! Cameron weakly holds up a five-dollar bill with an ATM receipt and weakly drops it as Everlast compares Cam to Jesse James. They let him go and move their desks back. "It was nice doing business witchoo," Leather Jacket says to Cam, and then purses his lips and nods. Cam's Old Navy Pullover remained unhurt. He stands up, overturns his desk and storms out of the room, pushing some clueless extra out of the way. Cam walks over to the school fence, tosses his bag over it, and slips out the chain. Right. RIGHT! Like the at-risk school doesn't lock the doors during class.
Episode Report CardPamie: D | 775 USERS: C+
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