Get Real
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Previously on Get Real: Cameron got expelled. Mary asks Cam not to screw up his life. Clay loves Meghan and so she gives it up for him. They change her line from "And I love you for saying that" to "And I love you."

Mary runs down the stairs to the World's Largest Kitchen as the camera pans over to Cameron "I'm So Like, Totally Oppressed" Green and Kenny "I'm Feeling Much Better Now" Green watching extreme sports on the television. Kenny changes the channel. Cameron says that he was watching that. Kenny informs him that Tori Amos is on Larry King. I try not to laugh, that Kenny would be interested in both Tori and Larry. Cameron interrupts my thought by telling Kenny that it really doesn't matter anyway, since he's going to prison the next day. "It's not prison. It's continuation school," Mitch "Number One Dad" Green says as he enters with Mary. Mary is wearing some sort of sequined shirt and a leather jacket. Mitch is wearing a black t-shirt and a gray blazer. Cameron says that he got expelled so his life is over, but Mary interrupts him to say that she and Mitch are going out and that they'd be back by eleven. She says that she's leaving the restaurant information with "the sitter." This causes a freak-out among the Green children about how they don't need a sitter. Mitch says they'd feel better leaving the kids under a "watchful eye." Before they can protest any further, Debi Mazar walks in with her icy eyes and strange lisp and makes both Kenny and Cam very happy. There is much hugging and long-time-no-seeing. At one point Cam actually says, "Holy cow!" so I wish they'd stop letting him ad-lib. Mary announces that Kate (Debi) is in town promoting her new book. Kenny says he knows about the book Ronin's Lair and that he'd already read the first chapter on her website. Kate says that she's doing a signing the next day at the local bookstore. Kate says that she "conned" Mary into catering it for her. Sure, Kate, you keep thinking you have control of your own thoughts and morals around the Greens.

Clay and Meghan share a kiss under an umbrella in the rain. Young new-sex love always brings the rainstorms. Meghan is wearing a giant blue turtleneck, so she must be getting some hickeys. That's the only excuse I'll allow. Meghan is telling Clay to take a few more laps down the bleachers. As he runs off, she takes a few more steps up. As he turns around and runs back up the wet stairs (fall! fall! slip and fall!), she tells him that he has to earn his kisses. Clay takes a breath and tells Meghan that they have to talk. "'Kay," Meghan says, already pissed. Clay says that a recruiter called him this morning from Boston University. They offered him a full scholarship for track. He says they want him to start in June. Meghan widens her prissy eyes, smiles way too big and says, "Boston?" as if he had said something terribly vulgar. She asks what happened to UCLA. Clay says they didn't offer him a scholarship. Meghan looks down and pouts. Clay says he knows it's far away but that she would have a good time coming to visit and she might have fun coming up and seeing him compete. "Oh yeah, great, I'll buy a cheerleading outfit too," Miss Bratty Bitch 2000 snaps with an eye-roll. "Meghan?" Clay asks. "No! I can't believe you didn't tell me about this before!" Meghan has her mouth open, so you know Clay's in trouble. "It just happened!" "Yeah, but I mean you applied months ago, right?" "It was a long shot," Clay stammers, visibly shocked that his girlfriend is truly, truly a horrible, self-centered person. "I didn't even think I'd get in... let alone a full scholarship. I can't afford to say no to this." Meghan brats her head to the side and says, "I finally get into a normal relationship and it's over by summer." BITCH! Not one "congratulations." The Center of the Universe II is really out of control. Someone needs a spanking. "Now give me twenty," she says. She doesn't, but she does.

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Get Real

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