Interesting note: Executive producer and director, Scott Winant is not listed in the opening credits. Guess it's not such "one big family" after all.
Meghan isn't jealous of other girls getting invited to Berkeley. Really. Honestly. She means it. Get off her damn back about it. She looks at us and says her new catch-phrase, "Whatever." She continues to smart-ass us until she goes to class. The Infinity song starts up as we are forced to watch Mitch and Mary have a quickie. Mary tries to get Mitch into some post-coital discussion, but the pager interrupts. He whispers something in her ear about whipped cream. As they run into the kitchen in their bathrobes, we see Cameron at the refrigerator eating the last of the whipped cream. The kitchen is full of family and friends. They all make sex jokes about Mitch and Mary getting it on. Kenny rats on Cameron getting busted at school. Grandma makes some sort of mention about a doctor's appointment and everyone ignores her as usual. Mitch goes to talk with Cameron as Meghan starts to lay into Mary for meddling in her college choices. Mary won't apologize. Neither will Cameron. Mr. Monkey Ears attempts some lame-ass parallel between his eating fruit in class and "What Adam did. Or was it Eve?" The size of his head alone is further proof of Darwinism. Meghan is so frustrated with the whole event that she goes out and gets her navel pierced. At this point you wonder why Meghan is never around any friends. Perhaps she eye-rolled them into comas. Fade to commercial as Meghan shouts in pain.
Kenny's sister is selling Pepsi by being Aretha Franklin.
Back to the Get Real gospel song as Kenny teaches Rebecca the cafeteria rules. Cameron skates by wearing his helmet. I giggle at how stupid that looks. Kenny is falling hard for Rebecca. Meanwhile Grandma is in the doctor's office thinking about her recently departed husband. She bails. Mitch comes home early with groceries. Cameron raids the bag and jokes that he's flattered, but he's "not really a Trojan man." He figures out the condoms are for Mitch and says the one funny line this episode: "Oh, Dad! Goin' for the two-peat!" Mitch wants to know why he has to have a meeting with the Vice Principal. Tennisha shows up and leaves with Cameron. Mitch calls Mary to announce that he has champagne. She's working and says she'll be home in a couple of hours. He brings up the whipped cream again and asks if he can go there. I don't think a school fundraiser is the place to watch Mitch and Mary use whips and chains, but you know, those kids are kinky.