Get Real
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Cameron is skateboarding (helmet on) while carrying a basketball. He skates up to Meghan. She and Lily dog him about getting Meghan in trouble with Mary. He asks Lily if her grandmother knows she took her car. Meghan retorts with, "Uh! Is there even a filter between your brain and your mouth?" "Actually, uh, uh...no." Brilliant! Give that writer an Emmy! He skates off and yowls. The girls give him an "isn't he cute?" smile.

Jeff arrives late to his lunch date with Mitch. He explains that he was watching his wife Joanne in the shower and ended up boning her. "A nooner, huh?" Mitch asks, as if he has sex. "You horndog." Jeff tells Mitch through a mouthful of food that Mitch doesn't seize the moment "or the wife." Mitch glares. "Where's my fifty bucks? Am I gonna have to send Tony Soprano after you?" The following guy-dialogue ensues: "The check's in the mail." "You knew you were gonna see me," Mitch whines. "Gee, I did it to piss you off," Jeff continues through more food. "Yeah, well, it's working." Mitch begins to talk about David again, whom I thought we had already established as Mitch's best friend, but I guess for the purposes of this Very Special Episode, Jeff will fill the best friend role. They discuss their jobs and whether it's important to like your job. Jeff tells Mitch he's got a great life. "You've got a wife with zzz," is what I heard, since something went screwy with the digital cable. I'll assume based off the Get Real writers that the deleted word was "tits." They make up and continue eating.

Mary is updating the party situation to her client. None of us care about this party for a seven-year-old. Here's what you need to know: there's a DJ, a "bouncy house," a magician, popcorn, cotton candy, a clown, a petting zoo, and "unconfirmed is Michael Flatley."

Cut to shot of the largest kitchen in America. Mitch is on the phone and fades out. Kenny and Cameron fade in and argue, fade out. People fade in and grab food out of the fridge as the light gets darker outside and we hear Meghan's voice shake as she gives this voice-over: "Of course, we had no way of knowing it, but later that night something happened that we'd never forget. When your phone rings at three in the morning, you pray it's a wrong number. If not, it's bad news."

Cue phone ringing. Shot of clock saying 3:17 AM.

"Always bad news." Pan up to phone by clock. Pan up to phone by doorway, phone in hallway, phone in foyer, phone at top of stairs. There are fifteen rooms in this house, easily. The kids come creeping out to see Mitch take off. Mary delivers the bad news. "Jeff had a heart attack." He's dead. They all hug as Cameron's cheek does this twitchy thing. Fade to five-note Get Real jingle as Meghan gets on her computer and we hear this voice-over as she talks: "Lily, I just heard. I'm so sorry. I don't know what room you're in right now or when you're going to see this..." As if the first thing a teen does when she loses her dad is go straight to the computer to talk to Natas666 and CaRtMaNRullZ in "teenspirit." Lily is, of course, crying in what we assume is her mom's lap. They cry without tears as Meghan finishes her IM with "I love you."

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Get Real

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