School Without Classes. Cameron is wearing one of those big, strappy backpacks that looks like he's carrying a toddler. Meghan is at Mandatory Locker Check. He asks Meghan if she's seen Slutgirl because he's wondering why she stood him up for the meteor shower. "Cam, look, if you wanna know something about Jodie, ask her," Meghan brats. Meghan sneers and says she's not "thrilled" about Cam "hooking up with her," and she doesn't want to be in the middle. Cam follows her and says, "Oh, my God, can we say, 'Bug up your ass?'" We can, Cam. And we do. Meghan says that her issue with Slutgirl is "the same as [her] issue with Stephanie. She's [Meghan's] friend and [Cameron's] trying to get in her pants." Stephanie? We missed a friend? Somebody call Lily. "That's not fair. Stephanie is ancient history." "Yeah, she is now. She was my friend." Weren't they all? Meghan says that Cam is just a "player" and that he better not hurt Slutgirl. Meghan gives some warning about Slutgirl's not being as tough as she seems. "FYI? Jodie stood me up, remember?" The five-note jingle remembers. Yes, it does.
Back at Center of the Universe Clinic, Mary has brought the distraught Blonde back inside. I'm so happy to see the head Clinic woman. It's Conchata Ferrell. She used to be on that comedy show ER with Elliot Gould and a very young George Clooney. I still remember the episode where her husband called the hospital when she was working late and sang a song to her that he had written. "I love a woman with love handles/ something I can hang onto/ I love a woman with love handles/ my sweet, sweet mama that's you." I understand that it is sick and wrong that I still remember that song and that show and that I'm the only person, but if the writer of "Love Handles" happens to be reading this, here's a big shout-out to you. I also thought this woman had died years ago, so I'm happy to find out she's still cranking out cameos as nurses and counselors. ["She is also currently lighting up the big screen in Erin Brockovich, in which she gets to be wicked bitchy to Julia Roberts. If you hate Julia Roberts, I highly recommend it." -- Wing Chun] Distraught Blonde is named Karen. Love Handles apologizes for her wait as they stand in front of Distraught Blonde II who shows her distraughtness by pulling on her hair and pouting. Mary sits at her desk and looks smug. I know, it's not like this is a new thing, but she is. Karen tells Love Handles that waiting is really hard for her and that Mary told her she was suffering from anxiety attacks. Mary gives the "busted!" face. Love Handles tells the woman "just walking by like any other good extra" to show Karen into her office. "Go home," Love Handles barks to Mary, "we'll talk about this tomorrow." See why I love this woman? Tight zoom on Mary as she thinks, "But I'm just going to end up being right about all of this. I mean, I am Mary Green. Whatever, lady, I'm not punching out. I'll go home, but it's only because I want to let my mother out of the basement."