Get Real
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Then I'll Huff, and I'll Puff...

Frisky Father Firehouse. Mitch pulls up his car and walks out, but Tom stays in the passenger side. He looks out the window at the building. Mitch opens the door for him. "I can tell from here I'm not interested," he says. Let me tell you how far away I can stand and not be interested either. Mitch tries to laugh it off and gives more builder-speak about the place. Tom points out that there's no parking and he can't use it without a parking structure. Mitch gets back in the car and we get a quick title sequence.

Dear David: Please stop. Please stop talking. Stop opening your mouth and letting sounds come out that we can't help but form as words. Please stop taking on projects and running around like an asshole. Please. You're ruining it for EVERYONE. Love, the Arquettes.

I'm warning you now. Kenny's side plot here is so stupid and annoying. It's old. It's remarkably dumb. You have been warned.

As Kenny brushes his teeth Cameron runs in behind him and tickles him. Kenny spits into the sink and they have a giggly moment. Cam laughs at Kenny's license photo, which I guess he's just carrying around with him for every moment. Nothing like wearing boxer shorts and holding a driver's license. Kenny asks if Cam puts a donor dot on the back of his license. Cam says not a chance. Ooookay, here it comes. Remember that old email/urban legend that got passed around in the fall of '96 about the guy who went to a party and got drunk with a girl (here in Austin the story centered on a University of Texas frat house, but I'm assuming it was for every college in America), and he woke up the next morning in a bathtub of ice with a phone and a note that says, "Call 911 right now or you will die," and he finds out that his kidneys have been removed to sell on the black market? Yeah, well, that's what they pull off as the new and scary story here. They change it to a "businessman on a business trip" who meets a girl in a hotel bar. They also add "don't get out of the tub" which is different because it was always the 911 operator who told him to look before, and in this story he only lost one kidney instead of both. I'd also like to point out here that this story actually supports being an organ donor instead of shying away from it, because if you ever did wake up in a tub of ice without a kidney, you'd probably want a fresh one waiting for you in the hospital, but whatever. Kenny says, "I mean, come on, that's just an urban myth, right?" "They all start from somewhere," Cam mouth breathes. I take a moment to remember Eric Christian Olsen's shining moment on ER (the one we recap, not the one with Love Handles, but she probably did a cameo there now that I know she's still kickin' it) where he played the kid dying in the hospital because of burns or acid or something and he had to say goodbye to his parents over the cell phone because they wouldn't make it to the hospital before he died. That was a good episode. On a good show. With good writing. Poor guy.

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Get Real

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