Get Real

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 450 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Distance

Cameron stands in the middle of the campus. He's all zenning out and I'm not sure why. The bell rings and the yard fills with students calling his name. Slutgirl walks up and talks to him as he stands by a "no skateboarding" sign they keep around for old times' sake. Cam tells Slutgirl that Mitch has him "working pretty hard at the firehouse," so I guess they renamed the Restoration of Sin building. Slutgirl mentions that he's not supposed to be on school grounds. He asks what he's missed. "Me, I hope," Slutgirl says as she fingers his stomach. When did this show turn into an Eighties Screwball Comedy With Possible Boobie Shots? Everyone's getting laid. Principal Foreshadowing walks right up to Cameron and tells him he's not supposed to be on school grounds. "All right, all right, cool, I'm gone," Cam says, like he's not breaking another law. "But I want you to know I'm gonna do whatever it takes for me to get back in here on a permanent basis." Uh-huh. "Those words would have meant a lot more had I heard them the day after you got expelled. Now they're just words. I need you gone." Testosterone Guitar. Big sigh. From me.

World's Largest Kitchen. Mitch and Mary ask Kenny whom he invited to the dinner. Kenny says that Rebecca wanted to meet Kimberly. Cam busts out laughing. Mary says that it's nice he's giving them a chance to meet. Mitch and Cam share a look. As Kenny leaves, Cam says, "He is so dead and he doesn't even know it." Giggling. "Do we have no gum in this house whatsoever?" Get this kid back in school. Now. Mary tells Cam to check with Meghan, but instead Cam walks right over to Meghan's purse and starts rummaging through it. Since this is the counter where medications simply cannot stay in purses (remember the prenatal vitamin fiasco where Cameron knocked pills out of Mary's purse but couldn't read what they said?), Cam instantly knocks Meghan's birth control pills out of her purse. It's really her own damn fault for keeping them right on top without any sort of camouflage. Cam tries to cover by quickly throwing them back in and looking guilty, prompting Mitch to ask if Cameron "found a human finger in there." Cam says, "I wish. Then I'd have something to chew on." I'll give you something to chew on. Cam bails instantly, and Mary goes straight for Meghan's purse. I tell you what these people have absolutely no boundaries. Mary holds the package of pills up to Mitch's face and then Mitch says back, "Birth control pills." They're sneaky and slow. That's a very dangerous combination. But they're not done being slow yet. "Maybe they're someone else's." "Mitch, why would she be carrying around someone else's birth control pills?" As Mary slowly tries to explain the birds and the bees and Loveral-Fe to her husband, Meghan walks in completely clueless to her prescription package in Mitch's hand. Mary gives Meghan a "how could you" look as Mitch just stares. "What?" Meghan asks. She lets out a really fake laugh. And as we fade to white we hear once a-friggin'-gain, "What?" I really hate this show. I've tried to be patient and I really want you guys to like me and think I'm funny, but at this point I'm worried about my self-esteem and, quite frankly, my mental stability.

Get Real

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