No previously, as it really doesn't matter. There is no previously anymore. There is only this. The last episode. The final unaired episode of Get Real. In honor of the occasion, the Dueling Saint Clares have floated down from my television stand, and sit on either side of my iBook. They cannot slap each other from this distance, but I can hold each of their tiny hands as they begin to cry. Some of their purest joy in forcing me to watch horrible television is about to come to a close. They are sad. And because they are sad, I, too, am just a little sad. Because the three of us have bonded over this show. Sure, they abuse me, but I know they just do it because they love me. I can change them. They just do it for attention. Me and the Saint Clares, we're gonna be together forever. I'm gonna have Saint Clares's babies.
Meghan practices her valedictory speech while we see a close-up of Mitch about to have a CAT scan. Meghan's going on about how the Class of 2000 seemed so far away, but now it's really here.
Cut to the World's Largest Kitchen. As Meghan continues to try different speech approaches, Elizabeth cooks, Cameron "listens" and Kenny keeps quiet. Meghan throws down her pen, announces that she sounds "like a Hallmark card," and pouts.
Meghan's voice mercifully fades as there's another close-up on Mitch. The doctor asks if he's ready. "Let's do this," Mitch says. Meghan chirps in again as Mitch's testing begins. She goes on about "global warming, the high-tech explosion, machines replacing people." She stops to say, "Great. Now I sound like Angry Youth Girl."
Meghan throws her hands in the air. "There's no way I'm going to pull this off. I, I, I, I, I don't know what to say." Mary and Elizabeth tell Meghan that she'll be fine and that they are proud of her. Elizabeth says that Meghan could just go up there and "mumble the classifieds." There's an idea. I love how, even though this was a scene about Mitch's brain problem, we have to hear about Meghan's valedictory angst at the same time. Cameron tells Meghan that no one is even going to listen to her speech anyway, because they are all going to be "wiped out by Jodie's party." Slutgirl is giving the last hurrah. Meghan says there will be other people that didn't go to Slutgirl's party. Cameron says, "What, all two of them?" He pointedly looks at Kenny. "I know one of them." Oh, look how good Cameron is getting at math! "No names, please," Kenny whimpers. Um, hi. You're a freshman? Yeah. Be happy for the amount of parties your older siblings have gotten you into so far, okay? Cam says he's "kinda tight" with "the hostess" and that he'll put in a good word for him. "Yeah, was kinda tight," Kenny twirls his fork and says. "Ow!" Cam laughs. Diss.