Steve has the video camera now and he's asking Cam, Kenny and Meghan who their favorite uncle is. Oh, this scene is painfully trite. After much "joking" they finally admit that it's him, since he's their only uncle. Meghan's giant bay windows are always covered in condensation. Perhaps it's all the hot air those kids generate. Maybe it's all the huffing and exhaling. Maybe it's the Malcolm In the Middle set right next door celebrating its Neilsen Ratings. Meghan takes the camera and demands that Steve promise to be at their house next Christmas. He gets his liar face on and says he promises. They rejoice, as if they can't see that Steve's liar face is just as transparent as any other Green member's. Why do I bother? Tonight's soundtrack is brought to you by the ABC Afterschool Special, "Mommy, Why Can't I Play the Flute?"

Teleporting. Mitch and Steve are at the Sin and Renovation. Steve declares that he's going to go to Mexico. Mitch says that Steve must have planned this all along: "You wanna run, Steve? Run. I don't wanna have anything to do with it." He exhales. "You need money. I feel so stupid, you know, you manipulated me from the minute you walked in the door." He says that all that stuff about their mother and the family was a lie. "That's not true," Steve says. Mitch: "Yeah, well, what's true Steve? You know? Really. Tell me, because uh, I don't know anymore." Steve pulls out the Cliché Machine and says both of the following sentences: "I'm all alone, I don't have anyplace to go." "You're my brother, Mitch, you're all I've got." It seems there's a mix-up here and that those were two alternative lines that Steve actually said one after another. There are a few more sentences starting with the word "Look" as Steve says he doesn't want to go to jail. He knows he messed up, but he needs Mitch now. "I'm scared. Please help me." And that'll do it for the available lines from Wayward Siblings: When You're Asking For Help "One Last Time". He asks Mitch to help him run. Thirty-second pause. Fade to white. Commercial.

I wake up as Mary wakes up. Her clock says it's 6:33. Mitch is outside shooting hoops. What asshole neighbors they are. If my neighbor was slamming the backboards at six-thirty in the morning, someone would be getting a bag of flaming poop on their doorstep. Mary gives a self-satisfied arm-cross and teleports outside in a robe. I guess I'd be pretty satisfied with myself if I could wake up with makeup and hair gel, too. She asks Mitch for a "time-out." She says, "You know, there's this incredible thing I do. While you talk, I drink my coffee and listen. Wanna try it out?" Go ahead, Mary. I dare you. I double dare you. I triple dog dare you to sit there and listen to Mitch's problem without saying a damn word. "Steve wants me to help him run," Mitch says. "You're kidding! Are you considering it?" Man, I didn't even get to enjoy that bet before it was over. Mitch says that if he doesn't help, Steve he could go to jail for a long time: "He needs my help." Mary: "He certainly doesn't deserve it," The Great Listener interrupts. But she's not done: "So, what, now you're aiding and abetting a fugitive?" Mitch says that Steve's his brother. Mary says that he stole money from people. Mitch says that Steve is scared. He says that his brother needs him to help him out of this. Mary gives the pitying head tilt and says, "He's counting on that, Mitch. I don't see how you can keep bailing your brother out and still come down so hard on your son." Instead of telling her to piss off, like I would have done, Mitch says that he comes down hard on Cameron because he's young and has his whole life ahead of him and can change. It's too late for Steve. Steve's only about thirty, by the way, so I don't really know what Mitch is doing making Steve seem eligible for Social Security. "He's a grown man. He's not your responsibility," Switzerland says, kicking off the five-note jingle. "You know the sad thing? Sad thing's he's always been my responsibility." Oh, wah. Poor widdle Mitchy. "I promised Mom I'd take care of him." Mitch just hates having to take care of people. If only it weren't for this family...