Clay wins his race and immediately stops running, which shows me that he's never run before because his thighs would be screaming at him. Meghan shoves all the well-wishers out of the way so she gets the proper sweaty hug. Clay scans the audience. She says she didn't see his dad. Clay says he figured as much and that maybe he'll catch him next time. People are hugging each other on the track. Girls in sweaters are just hugging each other. I don't know. She tells him to take a victory lap. He pulls her along with him. She complains about wearing heels, but he doesn't seem to care, since no one is watching him take the victory lap or concerned about his victory anyway.

Friday night at the Green house. That means they're watching home movies, people. Awwwwwww yeah. Whoop! Whoop! They watch the video they made of the NIGHT BEFORE -- or two nights, who knows -- where Steve promises to be home for Christmas. Because this show has put the crap in recap I don't have to hash out the details of this scene again, but we watch every minute of it. All of the Green kids sit around (Clay is there, keeping Meghan trapped in his arms). Five-note jingle is going wild; switching from oboe to guitar to oboe as Meghan is ordering Steve around on video ("Listen to me! Now!"). Mary asks Mitch if he thinks Steve will get caught. Mitch asks if it's okay if he says he hopes not. The Center of the Universe says it's okay. What a peach. Mitch gives Cam a small head dart and the two of them go outside and play ball in the dark. They are shouting and yelling and grunting and I can't believe no one calls the cops on them. We are forced to a flashback of the Mitch-and-Steve-As-Kids video. More vomit. An anvil falls and pins baby Mitch to the ground. Cameron and Mitch continue screaming like banshees outside while Mary looks on approvingly. Both Old-Time Kids are pinned under anvils as one of them actually holds up a sign that says, "So Long Partner. The End." We get that "Old Camera running out of film" thing as the show mercifully ends until March.

Hey, Get Real: You are not The Wonder Years. Not even close.

Then they come back on and thank everyone for making Get Real "One of the most talked-about new dramas this year." Wha? Oh, you mean "Will it get cancelled this week or next?" Right.