Kenny is filming the World's Largest Kitchen. Steve stands next to Mary, who is on the phone, explaining that Mary was his first crush and that Mitch stole her away from him. Hmm...Kenny is horrible at videotaping, and his shots make me more nauseous than the camera work of Heather Donahue. Corny jokes everywhere. Steve gets a phone call from a woman. He turns the corner so that no one can hear him anymore. It cues the "climax" music, so only Mitch and Mary are in the kitchen asking what is wrong. "There's a warrant out for my arrest," Steve drops the (not) bomb on us. Fade to white.
I fall asleep. I really do.
Pepsi Girl is showing off her talent and expensive contract. She's just shaking her tiny butt in poor brother Kenny's face. This is what it sounds like when dorks cry.
Back at Crisis Central (a.k.a. World's Largest Kitchen), Steve is filling Mary and Mitch in with the details. He was spending his client's money and got caught. He's out $300,000. Mitch is all, "I'm not bailing you out of this one." "You can't or you won't?" Steve asks. Mitch asks, "What do you want me to do?" Steve: "I don't know." Mitch tells Steve to turn himself in. Steve says he doesn't want to and doesn't know if he should. He then realizes that he's talking to the most self-righteous couple ever and says, "Then again I don't have much of a choice." Mary shakes her head and whispers, "No." Exhale. Exhale. Steve asks if he can spend one more day with them and "the kids" before he turns himself in. Mitch says that of course he can.
Clay goes storming out of a not-class with Meghan right behind him. Clay says he can't believe Meghan "kept it a secret" and that she should have told him. First of all, she told him at school during class? Fucking brilliant. "Hey, do you know the answer to number sixteen because your deadbeat dad who ditched you in intensive care has been hanging around you your whole life stalking you and stuff and for some reason decided to break his silence by talking to me because I hair-flipped the hell out of him and then he begged me to not tell you but I knew it would be an even bigger deal if you knew what was going on so first I told Slut Girl because I knew she would tell everyone and then I told your dad I was going to tell you so that he can high-tail it out of here before you ever get to see him and now I'm telling you so you can get all upset but not be able to do a thing about it?" Meghan is, of course, outraged that Clay could be mad at her, when this is all so not her fault: "I'm telling you now, all right?" Meghan says that he doesn't know how to talk to Clay because he doesn't want to hurt him. Clay says, "You can't stand there after knowing this guy for what, a minute? And tell me about how BAD he feels? It's too late for that. This guy walked out on me and my mom [sic] while we were in the HOSPITAL. Why are you on his side?" "I'm not on anyone's side," Meghan sneers. "Yeah, well, maybe that's the problem." Clay storms off as Meghan looks after him and thinks, "I can't believe I gave up my sorta-best friend for this. I tell him a painful secret at school and he totally embarrasses me in front of everyone. If this keeps up everyone is going to forget how totally popular I am without any friends."