Gideon's Crossing
The Lottery

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Curing Cancer

Sid is explaining Frenchie's medical problem to Mrs. Frenchie. She doesn't understand. Sid takes her to the lab and shows her the slides, which mean that the lymphoma is not coming back. Frenchie is anemic. Sid promises Mrs. Frenchie that they will make her husband better. Mrs. Frenchie smiles and picks some lint off Sid's shoulder. What is she, a chimpanzee? Why is she grooming him? It's like it's part of some elaborate mating rit...oh, I get it.

Lab Guy tells Ben that the newspaper article has created a lot of interest in the trials. Ben wants Pasty in the trial. Lab Guy says they have twelve referrals from within the center, and there are only four slots. Ben wants his guy in. Lab Guy says they can't just let the guy in, because it would be setting a dangerous precedent. Also, four is the number they need based on their "complex algorithms," and they only have enough drugs for four. Plus, "the FDA watches [them] like a hawk." Ben says he promised Pasty. Lab Guy says Ben shouldn't have, and Pasty will have to take his chances. Ben says that Pasty's chances are zero, and starts making a case for how well-organized Pasty is, how he will make all of his appointments and record all the side effects. Lab Guy says that he hopes Pasty wins the lottery, and leaves. Ben is in big trouble.

Pasty is flirting with Ollie about some car while she takes some blood. I'm not interested in cars, and it really doesn't matter to the plot, so I won't bore you with the details. Ollie owns some sports car. Pasty asks her to marry him. Ollie says that with the car she owns, he should know she's not the marrying type. Ben comes in, looking like the Angel of Death. Ollie leaves. Ben tells Pasty about the lottery. Pasty asks if Ben can pull some strings. Ben says no, and offers up another drug that might be able to buy Pasty some time until it's time for Phase II of the trials. Pasty keeps telling Ben that he promised to cure him while Ben tries to deflect the blame. I really don't feel bad for Ben here. I feel really, really bad for Pasty, but not for Ben, because he shouldn't have promised. Pasty walks out.

Sid is having dinner with some Indian woman, and he makes a joke about how expensive the wine is. Sid's date starts talking about how she really wants to get married. Sid thinks there's something to be said for fate or kismet. Sid's date hits the table and says, "Bull! Focus! Strategize! Make it happen!" Sid looks shocked as his date announces that this isn't going to work, because she wants a man who has never cut his hair and respects tradition. Sid tells her to have a drink. Sid's date tells him he should have read her ad on the Internet, and that "ill-preparedness" is another bad quality. She gets up to leave and wonders where he would be while she was in childbirth, "fumbling for the ice chips while [she's] screaming for an epidural?" She starts to walk out and says that "he's short" and she's "not going to go through all this to wind up with a brood of dwarves." Sid stands up and delivers the following speech: "You want to know the truth? I don't want hair down to my ass, or a wife with an MBA and a pimiento on her forehead. I want a six-foot blonde with big, giant hogans, who loves me for who I am, and I am going to have it because this is the greatest country in the world." One of the restaurant patrons does that "start clapping really slowly and then speed it up as the others join in" thing that never happens in real life. But, Sid! Focus! Strategies! Make the hogans happen!

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Gideon's Crossing

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