Everyone sits. Claude asks Rory if she speaks any French. She admits that she speaks "tout petit peu." Oh. It's not trés petite? Lorelai admits that all she knows is "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, se soir?" Everyone blanches at Lorelai's rather stupid joke, since half the room hasn't heard of Lady Marmalade, so Monique has to explain in French what Lorelai means. Claude approves of Lorelai's very funny ways. Why are we meeting these people? Lorelai asks for a martini. Doesn'tMatter asks Claude if this is his first Thanksgiving. Claude says that it is -- that he's seen it in the movies and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, I'm sorry. This episode is like Thanksgiving dinner. Five minutes of excitement that it's started and then one long, sleepy fade until a blissful hibernation. Doesn'tMatter gets all patriotic, saying we have a lot to give thanks for in this country, unlike France, apparently. What's with the tone, DM? Getting a little superior on those guests. Claude's just happy to have Cuban cigars, French champagne, and gorgeous women every single day. Take that, USA. He thanks the room for the great company. Lorelai: "Douglas, Richard, leave us, won't you?" Richard is again confused, and Emily explains that it's another joke. Natalie tells Lorelai she has her mother's wit. "Sometimes I wish she'd give it back," Emily quips, wagging cigar missing. Rory mentions that this is their fourth dinner. Richard thanks Lorelai for fitting them in. Lorelai says he's the main event. She counts down again as she sips.
Natalie gives snooty compliments to Emily's table as they sit. Emily rings a bell, and everyone gasps as the turkey arrives on a platter, with two people carrying it. All of the rich people laugh and chuckle, gloriously happy in the wealth of their own riches and happiness and rich and rich and rich and isn't it all so divine, having so much food we couldn't possibly eat? Richard cuts a ceremonious piece of turkey before it's whisked away and they eat salads. Lorelai makes many, many jokes about how weird it was to ceremoniously carve the first piece of turkey, and is afraid her salad will be taken from her the second she bites a piece of lettuce. The word "ceremonial" is said like, seven times, as if it was supposed to get funny at some point. Claude says that Lorelai is like our Jerry Lewis. Bite your tongue, Claude. And write a better joke, Daniel. Or at least give Lorelai a comeback, like "Bite your tongue, Claude."