Gilmore Girls
A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | 1 USERS: A-
Thanks, But No Thanks

Luke's. Jess tells Luke he needs to get more trash cans. Luke likes dumping his trash in Taylor's cans. It's a win-win situation for him. Lorelai walks up. Luke says they're out of food. Lorelai says they aren't eating for a year. Rory amends it to "until tomorrow morning." Jess walks off to dump the trash bag. Luke invites Lorelai in, asking if he saw flames coming from Sookie's place. "Yeah, why?" Lorelai asks. Rory leaves to follow Jess.

Rory immediately attacks Jess with the softest, tongue-less-est, emotionless kiss. Then she says hello. Then she runs away. Now, I don't want you guys to think that I'm advocating teen sex. I didn't have sex until I was in college. But I did like to kiss boys. Kissing was fun. Fun! Best thing ever. I don't understand why Rory can't just kiss someone in a way that makes it seem like she enjoys kissing people. She's like a deer, pulling back and trembling, afraid of kissing, afraid of skin touching, worried that maybe she won't stop kissing someone if she lets herself enjoy it. It used to be cute when she was supposed to be two years younger and just learning how to kiss someone, but now it makes me uncomfortable, as if something bad happened to Rory that keeps her from being affectionate with people. Anyway, it doesn't matter, because this only happened so that this next, totally lame-o scene can take place.

CuteDean's standing at the end of the street, fronting Jess, and trying to incite a fight out of him. He's all arms out, going, "What's the matter, Jess? Why you walkin' away?" Jess says the whole thing's a little too West Side Story for him, and he's not that good of a dancer. CuteDean won't stop with the eagle arms, asking Jess to mock his apron, or to call him a Boy Scout again. CuteDean wants Jess to fight, but Jess doesn't want to, because then Rory will think he started it. CuteDean gets three seasons' worth of lines here, but sadly, all of them are so stupid. Clichéd. Bad. Badly written lines. Here they are, in all their stinky glory: "So, Rory's got a nice little hold on you, now, huh? How does it feel?" Jess: "Feels like I'm with Rory and you're not." CuteDean: "You know, when all this happened with you and me and Rory, I figured I'd just stay out of everyone's way. That that would be easiest. But now, I'm lookin' atchoo and I'm thinkin', 'I'm gonna run from him? The Glad Man?'" Wow, that's worse than when he called Phillipppe "Dristan," you guys. Why can't they give Dean real lines that boys say? Why is he such a moron when he talks? "This is my town. I'm not hiding. And I don't have to be remotely calm around you anymore, and I like that feeling. I like it a lot." LAME. ["Plus, Stars Hollow is 'his town'? He's lived there like twenty minutes longer than Jess has." -- Wing Chun] CuteDean walks away, wishing Jess a Happy Thanksgiving. Jess tosses his trash bag away.

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Gilmore Girls




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