Emily walks in behind Lorelai. "Emily, hi!" Sookie says. Lorelai laughs and tells Sookie that her joke is very high-school. Sookie says hello to Emily again, prompting Lorelai to mock her by saying hello to Stalin, just over Sookie's shoulder. Emily startles Lorelai by saying hello. She points out that Sookie had already announced Emily's presence, and that she didn't appreciate getting compared to Stalin. Emily asks to speak with Lorelai for a minute. They walk one foot to the left, which somehow means they've gone someplace else to talk. Emily wants to know whether Lorelai and Rory are coming to Thanksgiving dinner, since Lorelai's been avoiding Emily's phone calls, making excuses and lies about bad phone connections or an illness that prevented Lorelai from coming to dinner. Lorelai admits that she doesn't look sick right now, but that's because her allergies come and go. Emily informs Lorelai that she and Richard are leaving town at the beginning of December and won't be back until after January, so Thanksgiving is the last time the four of them can be together for a while. She says there will be other people there, so the focus won't be on Lorelai (which is enough for Lorelai not to want to go, honestly). She says that Lorelai and Rory could probably get by with just polite hellos and goodbyes. Emily's hair is awful, too. All frizzy and thin, with ends flying around. Where's the stylist for this shooting day? Emily reminds Lorelai that Emily wasn't involved in the Yale switcheroo, and says she wants her daughter and granddaughter at her Thanksgiving dinner. She says that if Lorelai claims she's sick, a doctor's note isn't going to cut it: Emily will need to have Lorelai's doctor come to dinner. Emily leaves.
Chilton. A science teacher is discussing the parts of the cell until the bell rings. "That was really distracting," Fraulein says. Paris: "Oh. Well, by all means, Madeline, you should point out to the faculty that their annoying custom of teaching is distracting you from more important things, like nail-filing and daydreaming about marrying Ryan Phillippe." Louisa points out that Ryan Phillippe is already married. Fraulein notes that everything the teacher said in the last five minutes sounded dirty, like "reticulum." Louisa thinks the "Golgi body" sounds particularly pornographic. "My life with the Banger Sisters," Paris drones. This is done much better in the current running joke on the show with a simple "Dirty!" Rory asks what everyone's doing for Thanksgiving. Paris refuses to talk about it. Louisa tells a long story about getting to see her dad in prison, and that her dad will get to have two hours with his family in a trailer in the parking lot before one of the Manson girls gets it, since his company donated some treadmills to the prison. Fraulein notes that it's good they're eating dinner before the Manson girl and not after. Paris is very upset about her Thanksgiving, because there aren't any soup kitchens or shelters that need volunteers, and Paris needs to volunteer so that she can put it on her transcripts. I've just summed it up in once sentence, but they allow it to go on for like, five or seven, not one of them building to any kind of joke, but really just the same thing stated over and over again. Fraulein says she'll be busy filling out applications to backup schools. Louisa says she has to do that as well. Paris scolds the girls, saying she gave them that assignment a long time ago. Louisa calls Paris "Mom," and apologizes. Paris says this is about being prepared, and that she got Harvard and her backups in weeks ago. Fraulein has to leave. Louisa goes with her. Don't they have another class to attend? Paris keeps saying Harvard is going to be expecting shelter work. Paris asks if Rory knows that she ultimately does all of these things for the good of mankind. Rory: "Oh, yeah." Paris: "Sometimes I don't think I come off that way." She gets a phone call. It's another shelter, saying they're full. Paris begs to get stuck at "any old pot." She says that she's small, and has her own spoon. A slotted spoon, even. Yes, the bit keeps on going and going and going. Finally, Rory walks away.