Gilmore Girls
A Family Matter

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Jess Fans, Unite!

Lorelai isn't wearing a warm enough coat for that snowy weather. We open with Lorelai strolling in Stars Hollow as the town prepares for yet another winter wonderland fantasia.

Luke's. It's pretty busy. "Unbelievable!" Lorelai shouts, amazed that her princess table isn't awaiting her royal heiney. Lorelai immediately breaks another rule by whipping out her cell phone to call Rory, who is apparently just standing around in her dorm room, waiting for her mom to call. Lorelai tells Rory that there are no empty tables at Luke's, and that she was hoping Rory had developed mind-control powers to get people to leave. Rory says that if she had those powers, she'd be using them to "play the ponies," and that Lorelai's table would be low on her list. Lorelai calls Rory selfish, and then pulls up a chair at Kirk's table. Surprisingly, she asks, "May I?" to which Kirk responds that he has a girlfriend. Lorelai says she's not flirting with him. "Oh," Kirk says. "Then have a seat." Lorelai sits and then coos, "I love that shirt." Kirk informs her that it's an Arnold Palmer. Lorelai: "That was flirting." Kirk: "Oh, man!"

Lorelai asks Rory how Lane's doing. We see Paris asleep as Rory talks at full volume. She says that Lane's fine, but that she hasn't talked to her mom since "the kick-out." Lane left, right? She wasn't kicked out. I don't consider that a kick-out. Lorelai feels bad for MamaLane, but Rory doesn't, since she kicked out Rory's oftentimes best friend. Lorelai says that MamaLane is probably pretty lonely without Lane. Rory says that Lane's doing well at Yale, and has fallen into a rhythm. Lane runs up at this point, wearing a heavy coat, offering up a bundle of to-go coffees. She's rushing because she's late to wake up Paris. I see. So Lane's now the dorm nanny? Lane shouts for Paris to get up and at 'em. "Die," Paris says. Lane puts Paris's espresso right out of reach. Paris: "Die twice." She must not mean "espresso," because that's a very large cup. Maybe it's an Americano or something. Lorelai asks Rory if Paris was at the professor's last night. Rory says that Paris claims to have been up all night cramming. Lorelai: "Well...she was." Ew! Rory is moved to say, "Ick!" I daresay that's the dirtiest joke this show has ever told. Paris asks what the ick's all about, and whether it's about her. Rory lies and calls Paris paranoid.

At the diner, Luke grumps up, complaining about the "stupid Firelight festival," and how it seems to happen every week. Lorelai orders coffee and a muffin. Luke asks Kirk, "You two an item now?" Kirk insists, "I have a girlfriend." Then Luke delivers the actual dirtiest joke this show has ever told: "Double-dipping. You dog." Ew! Rory asks Lorelai why she's up so early. Lorelai has a quick meeting at the Dragonfly, and is then spending the day with Digger, helping him to find furniture for his office. Lorelai says that Digger's never really seen Stars Hollow.

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Gilmore Girls

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