Gilmore Girls
A Messenger, Nothing More

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Smoke 'Em If You've Got 'Em

Previously: Luke and Lorelai kissed, and they liked it. Rory and Emily left their man troubles behind by overnighting themselves to Paris. (Speaking of, where is that girl?) And, you know, someone's committing adultery.

Lorelai passes three townies on her way to the mailbox -- Al, Fred, and Sam (I'm not going to bother learning their names, either), but doesn't say a word to Bootsie. Another random townie hands Lorelai a flyer and announces the opening of the cider mill with a big parade this Saturday. Come one, come all! Why am I not in a Newsie hat? Extra, extra! Getcher foreshadowing, piping hot! Lorelai immediately recites the news to the next passerby, handing off her flyer. That's how Lorelai recycles. She passes Miss Patty's, where Miss Patty is inappropriately telling her young disciples in apple costumes that they're about to have the juice sucked out of them. Miss Patty calls Lorelai the town's "spunky entrepreneur." Pleased with the title, and way too busy to stop and talk to a friend, Lorelai walks away agreeing, "I am the Über-Trump-Murdoch-Maximus!" Here's where I call "Daniel." (I'm right; I'll bet you were, too.) Does "Über" count as a shout-out? Lorelai looks back and calls "Apple down!" Miss Patty "rushes" to help her fallen tiny dancer. It's no "We have a piper down," but anybody trapped in a giant foam costume cracks me up. Miss Patty is polite enough to turn back to tell Lorelai to have a nice day, but Miss Thang is far down the street, having forgotten anything behind her. We fade to black listening to the nameless townie remind us that there's a "big parade" with free cider. Why bother having a teaser?

Luke's. I guess Lane's been running things while Luke's been at the Ren Faire. Give that girl a raise. Lane calls out an order to one of the Cesars as we pan over to Brian and mfTL. Brian is telling the story of what I'm guessing is The Da Vinci Code. I'm the last person in the world who hasn't read it, but then I don't read the Grisham, either. Oh, please don't let that be the reason you email me about The Da Vinci Code, okay? Just don't email me about it at all. I don't care how much you loved it. Eventually, mfTL yells at Brian to stop talking, despite Brian's protests that it's the #1 book in the country. Lane comes to table to take their order. MfTL orders a cheeseburger and some "wink-winkers." Lane says she doesn't mind throwing them free fries because they're her friends. She tells them they don't have to call them anything other than "fries." There's no need for winking, smirking, or "cute-cutsey" names. I know he's my friend and all, but man, they make Todd look even skuzzier than CuteDean on this show. What's with the shiny shirt and greasy hair? Can't a boy on this show have good hair? (I can do my own foreshadowing, you see...) Brian and mfTL argue about whether they can order something in a cute-cutsey fashion if they aren't verbal about it. Lane leaves to get the order as Brian whips out a pocket full of change for the bill. "Oh, that's not embarrassing," mfTL notes.

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Gilmore Girls

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