Lorelai's trying to give Rory a food-related pep talk as they walk into Luke's, offering to buy her daughter anything she wants to eat. Rory wants a root beer. Luke says it's on the house, so she should go crazy. "Luke!" Lorelai says, shocked to see him, surprised he's been in town without saying hello, a little confused that he's acting like she's just Lorelai and he's just Luke when they're now Luke-Luke and Lorelai-Lorelai. He asks Rory if she's okay, since she looks a little pale. "You know, pale's the new tan," Lorelai says. She punches Luke in the arm, happy he's back. She punches him again for being gone for seven weeks. Luke suddenly remembers that he needs some wink-winkers, so he leaves for the pharmacy. He yells to Lane that he's leaving. Lane runs over and hugs Rory, happy she's back. Lane sits and asks Rory for help on her quandary. Lorelai suddenly remembers, without a shred of subtlety, that she's also in some need of some wink-winkers, and possibly a few nudge-nudgies. She runs off. Lane asks Rory if she's in love with mfTL. Lane says that a "dirty trollop" suggested it, and that dirty trollops are generally reliable. Rory stops listening to her friend after those two words, because she realizes that she's now a dirty trollop, and that's how people will refer to her when she's not around. "Oh, Rory? The skeezy whore who goes to Yale? What's that skank want?" Lane doesn't know if the dirty trollop was looking at Lane in a way that hints Lane likes mfTL, or if she was hitting on her. Rory has no thoughts, other than that she might not get to have dirty trollop sex with CuteDean anymore.
Luke waits by a tree. Lorelai soon meets him. He really did go to the pharmacy, because he wanted to keep up the pretense, so he bought whatever. It's a pack of cigarettes. Luke holds up the necklace, causing Lorelai to go back to being the stilted, brain damaged girly-girl she was when he gave her the earrings. Luke says that they match the earrings, which Lorelai's wearing right now. She thanks him and says they're a perfect match. They lean in to kiss and then...suddenly...it's the parade! Oh, comedy! Here it comes, marching through, celebrating...cider. Dancing apples and scary clowns. Huzzah! Michel's leading the Fake Kids through the parade. "This band," he says. "So subtle. Like a polo mallet hitting your head." The Fake Kids yell "come on!" for the nine hundredth time, and Michel growls at Fake Kid not to pull him. "This town," Luke says. "This is our town. It is so glamorous," Lorelai finishes. Hey, you know another lyric in that song? "We're all dreamers -- we're all whores." Maybe Rory can say that next week. Lorelai and Luke agree to "hook up later." Luke moves pretty fast. Lorelai says she loves the necklace. Luke leaves. Lorelai bumps into a man standing right behind her holding a giant bundle of red balloons. He lets go of the balloons and they blow away. Lorelai offers to pay him for them, but then remembers that she doesn't have any cash, so she invites him to the Dragonfly for some food. She hands him a pack of cigarettes.